Thursday, January 14, 2016

A Knight to Remember

Interference

Author: John Jackson Miller
Medium: Short story
Publication Date: September 2008 on StarWars.com (republished on Unbound Worlds)
Timeline Placement: 3,963 BBY

This short is formatted as a series of propaganda transmissions in the vein of those broadcast by Tokyo Rose during World War II, sent by unseen spokesmen for the Republic called “Captain Goodvalor” and “Commander True.” Goodvalor attempts to demoralize the Mandalorian troops with descriptions of the Republic’s massive warships and the inhospitable worlds the Mandalorians are set to invade. The story also contains broadcasts made by Mandalorian warrior Koblus Sornell as she reassures her uneasy troops and fails to wrap her head around Goodvalor’s offer of peace in exchange for tribute in the form of planetary taxation, illustrating the impenetrable cultural divide between the Mandalorians and the Republic.

This is a cool premise for a story but it’s too brief and self-contained to do much justice to the idea of psychological propaganda broadcasting in Star Wars. The point of the story, that there is no way for the war to end peacefully because the Mandalorians and the Republic are too different ever to come to terms, is an important one, but anyone familiar with any stories featuring the Mandalorians already knows how they’re going to respond to Goodvalor’s peace offer.

Pretty much non-essential in every way. 1/5 Death Stars.


Knights of the Old Republic #22–24: Knights of Suffering

Author: John Jackson Miller
Artist: Dustin Weaver
Medium: Comic
Publication Date: November – December 2007
Timeline Placement: 3,963 BBY (with flashback to 3,988 BBY)
Series: Knights of the Old Republic

When the first image in a comic is Mandalorian Neo-Crusaders riding Basilisk war droids through the skies of a conquered planet, you know you’re in for a good time. The Moomo Williwaw returns to Taris posing as a captured ship. Zayne jetpacks down to the planet in the suit of Mandalorian armor Rohlan threw out in the last story, and lands in the midst of a skirmish between Mandalorian invaders and the Black Vulkar crime gang. One of the Mandalorians calls over to him for help but Zayne is like “Nope” and runs away down an alley.

Just around the corner, Zayne’s old friend Gryph is holed up with several KotOR NPCs, including Brejik, Zaerdra, Griff Vao, and Gadon Thek, leader of the Hidden Beks gang. They have a large spider droid standing guard at the entrance to their hideout, and Zayne quickly cuts it in half with his lightsaber without giving them a chance to have it stand down. Way to make a good first impression. Despite what we were told in the previous comic, Gryph is not running the Taris Resistance. In fact, they won’t even consider him and his criminal cohorts for membership.

After Zayne joyfully reunites with Gryph and Del Moomo, Gadon Thek happily informs him that he’s still a wanted fugitive and they’re going to turn him over to the Taris Constable in exchange for medical supplies. I guess Zayne has just gotten used to being conned and betrayed because he doesn’t seem to care that much.

 Mission: Impossible music plays ♪

Also hiding out with the Beks is Mission Vao, a recruitable party member from Knights of the Old Republic. She’s about seven years old at this point, and takes Zayne to see her brother’s secret. It turns out that Brejik and her older brother, Griff, have kidnapped the Constable’s children and are keeping them in a pit where they occasionally feed them leftovers. Zayne and Gryph report this to Gadon, who chastises his high-spirited proteges for abducting the Constable’s family after he explicitly told them not to. I’m more amused by the fact that all five NPCs in this room have the potential to die at your character’s hand over the course of the game.

The Hidden Beks travel to the Resistance’s headquarters to return the Constable’s children. This buys them a ticket through the front door, where Zayne is thrilled to see Shel Jelavan, the hot blonde he was crushing on back in Jedi school and sister of his dead best friend Shad, a victim of the Padawan Massacre. He runs up to her and she shoots him with a blaster, which is conveniently deflected by the briefcase he’s holding. Insane Jedi Master-turned-murderess Raana Tey materializes behind her and urges Shel to finish the job.

For some reason Raana Tey doesn’t immediately do it herself, which gives Gryph and Del Moomo time to leap to Zayne’s defense. Haydel Goravvus, the green-skinned senator of Taris and leader of the Resistance, steps in and orders the Jedi back into line. Gryph explains that the real reason he returned to Taris after escaping the destruction of Serroco back in issue 15 is because he was hired by Jervo Thalien of Lhosan Industries to find the senator. Goravvus and Thalien previously appeared in the series’ first arc, Commencement, casually discussing the political situation in play here as Zayne fell screaming past their speeder during his escape.

Gryph activates the holotransmitter in his briefcase and contacts Thalien, who announces that the case is actually a bomb and he’s going to kill them all to protect his political future. Thanks to Zayne’s overly enthusiastic former crush, however, the bomb fails to detonate and this subplot dies a merciful death. Meanwhile, Zayne and Raana Tey each try to convince Shel that the other is responsible for murdering her brother.

Back aboard the Moomo Williwaw, Jarael is still disconsolate over Camper leaving. Rohlan suggests that she work out her issues the Mandalorian way: by hitting something with a stick. Zayne’s Jedi friend and Dark Lord-to-be Alek is all too eager to take off his shirt and wave his ‘saber at her. He loses their sparring match when he trips over some garbage. If you’re keeping score at home, so far in this series the future Darth Malak has gotten his ass handed to him by some Mandalorians, Mandalore himself, and a girl who can’t use the Force. Alek kind of sucks.

Having impressed Jarael with his flawless choreography and fancy footwork, Alek decides to make his move, and in the process confirms that the no-attachment doctrine of the prequels isn’t yet Jedi dogma (although certain parties have been pushing for it since the Sith War). Due to her recent experience with Arkoh Adasca, however, Jarael can never trust men again. She freaks out and bolts. Because he hasn’t embarrassed himself enough already, Alek calls after her, “Is it not now or just not me?” Jesus, no wonder this guy falls to the dark side.

Do you even know how to neg, bro?

Elsewhere, Cassus Fett, Mandalore’s top war strategist, has come to Taris to oversee the invasion and taken up residence in the abandoned Jedi training academy. The Resistance gets wind of this and decides to destroy the entire tower with Thalien’s bomb, which Del Moomo has adopted as his son. “I love bombs. I mean, really. You have no idea . . .” he explains. It is decided that Zayne and Shel will infiltrate the tower to make sure Cassus is really there, then Raana Tey will meet up with them for some reason. Somehow no one realizes that this is a terrible plan.

Raana Tey secretly gives Shel the crystal from her brother’s lightsaber and tells her how to reassemble it so she can kill Zayne once they’re alone in the tower. He’s standing right there, just kill him yourself, you psycho broad! Zayne dons his Mandalorian disguise again so they can sneak past the guards by pretending Shel is his prisoner. He puts her in handcuffs, but disappointingly that’s as close as we get to Fifty Shades of Zayne.

Predictably, Shel can’t keep her mouth shut (why did she even volunteer for this mission?) and starts bawling out Zayne for killing her brother right in front of all the Mandalorians. They demand to know what’s going on, to which Shell replies by pouncing on Zayne and shoving her tongue down his throat. Satisfied, the Mandos give Zayne a thumbs-up and move along. Once they’re gone Shel knees Zayne in the groin. It’s funny because he didn’t deserve it!

Once they make it inside the tower, Zayne is reminded of old times and starts crying about how much he misses Shel’s brother. This makes Shel reconsider stabbing him in the face with Shad’s lightsaber. Zayne heads up top and finds that the only Mandalorian left in the building is Cassus Fett’s hapless aide-de-camp, Gormer Pyle. Thinking that Zayne is a new recruit, Gormer helpfully explains that Fett moved his headquarters an hour ago and is currently attacking the Resistance base, then gets bisected for his trouble by Raana Tey.

A short flashback to Raana Tey’s childhood shows her overhearing a prophecy made by Lucien’s mother, Krynda Draay, about five unknown individuals who would play an important role in the next great conflict between the light and dark:

And in the time of tribulation to come, there will be five.

One for the darkness, and one for the light.

Another from the darkness stands in the light, while one from the light stands in the darkness.

The last one stands apart from all.

And between them, all that has been built will fall.

Don’t worry, the eventual explanation is even less interesting than you’d think.

Raana Tey attacks Zayne and beats the shit out of him, slashing him with her lightsaber, throwing him against walls and into the fractured skylight overhead. Her face lacerated with shards of broken glass, Raana Tey taunts Zayne as she closes in for the kill, laughing about how many Padawans she’s killed. Then Shel impales her from behind with her dead brother’s lightsaber. In tears, Shel falls into Zayne’s arms and admits that she finally believes he didn’t do it. Yeah, real gracious of you, sister, seeing that the real killer just confessed right in front of you.

In the midst of the Mandalorian assault on the Taris Resistance, Gryph is determined to rescue Zayne from the Jedi tower before the Mandos reach it, so Gadon Thek flies him up to the building’s roof on his swoop bike. They toss a cable down to pull Zayne and Shel to safety, but Zayne refuses to leave Raana Tey to die. Uncharacteristically touched by this act of selflessness, Raana Tey chooses to accept Zayne’s help, but her hand becomes caught in the tower’s broken window. She draws her lightsaber to cut herself free, but Gryph misinterprets this as an attack on his friend and triggers the detonation of Del Moomo’s bomb.

The base of the tower explodes and Raana Tey falls away from Zayne as the entire structure collapses. As she falls she asks him to tell Krynda that she’s sorry. Gadon and Gryph fly away from the destroyed academy with Zayne and Shel dangling beneath them. Shel is sorry that Zayne lost his chance to get a public confession out of one of the Jedi, but Zayne replies that he has something even better now: a name.

Elsewhere in the galaxy, we cut to blind Miraluka Jedi Q’Anilia, Shad Jelavan’s former Master, in the process of getting it on with Zayne’s former Master, Lucien, when she feels Raana Tey’s death in the Force and senses that Krynda’s identity has been revealed. This is the worst thing that could ever conceivably happen, she cries. Realizing that he won’t be getting any tonight, Lucien agrees.

She’s fine, don’t even worry about it.

Meditations

Finally, another really good KotOR arc. I’m not even the biggest Gryph fan (he’s a funny character, but his humor sometimes feels like the author is trying too hard), but it can’t be coincidence that things picked up again the moment he returned from the grave. There are no bankers, space slugs, or boring mad scientists around to louse things up this time, and the only wardrobe change Jarael does is when she takes off a badass leather jacket that frankly she should be drawn wearing more often. Yeah, that Alek/Jarael scene was kind of cringey, but still . . . it’s Darth Malak, man! I’m just glad he’s here.

This comic has everything that made previous arcs like Flashpoint and Days of Fear such successes, on top of basic good storytelling and illustrations by Dustin Weaver: memorable secondary characters, Mandalorians being demonstrably evil, back story from KotOR playing out in meaningful ways, interpersonal character stories set against the backdrop of the evolving galactic conflict. Most importantly, the main plot finally advances in a big way: Raana Tey is dead, and Zayne finally knows about Krynda, the puppetmaster allegedly pulling the Covenant’s strings.

It’s easy to make fun of Zayne for being an idiot and doing everything wrong, but Gryph’s description of him to Gadon Thek rings true: “The kid saves people’s lives—whether he knows them or not. Whether they deserve it or not. Without being asked and without being paid.” After Xesh and Ulic, it’s refreshing to follow a protagonist who’s genuinely good. Zayne doesn’t brood and he isn’t moody, he just tries to do what’s right, at least most of the time. The trade-off for this is that he’s utterly incompetent at most things, but he’s invested enough points in his Luck stat to compensate.

I don’t much care for Shel as a character. All she really brings to the group dynamic is a connection to Zayne’s past before he lost everything to his Masters’ paranoia and fanaticism. I didn’t care about that part of his life when we wasted two issues on the Moomo brothers trying to capture his father and I don’t care about it now. Zayne isn’t that person anymore and was at his least interesting by far when he was. I’m not sure if Miller is attempting to set up some future love triangle plot here, but everyone reading this series knows that Jarael is way more awesome than Shel and we don’t need any more obstacles retarding our characters’ personal growth.

I have nothing negative to say regarding the art. Tragically, this is Dustin Weaver’s last contribution to Knights of the Old Republic, and we still have 31 more issues to go. While his artistic style is not as hauntingly gorgeous as Chris Gossett’s, it’s completely appropriate for the tone and style of this comic and I deeply regret that the creative team didn’t have him stick around longer. His soft-lined, big-eyed, almost cartoonish designs are a perfect match for the light-hearted adventures of Zayne and his wacky crew of misfits and their series’ video game roots. I could overlook a lot of the flaws in this comic’s lesser issues more easily if Zayne always looked like this rather than this. I’ve been dismissive of Brian Ching in the past but I have the feeling I’m quickly about to gain a new appreciation for his work.

A very worthwhile installment in this series, and coming none too soon. 5/5 Death Stars.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Dazed and Confused

Knights of the Old Republic #19–21: Daze of Hate

Author: John Jackson Miller
Artist: Bong Dazo
Medium: Comic
Publication Date: August – October 2007
Timeline Placement: 3,963 BBY
Series: Knights of the Old Republic

Last time on Knights of the Old Republic, some dumb shit happened.

Picking up where we left off, the various representatives of galactic powers wArkoh Adasca has invited to bid on his army of space slugs arrive on Adasca’s ship, the Arkanian Legacy. There is Admiral Saul Karath, representing the Republic; the Jedi Knight Alek, representing the Revanchist Jedi; and Mandalore the Ultimate and his entourage, representing the Mongol horde attempting to burn down and enslave the galaxy.

Things go about how you might expect. Alek tries to fight Mandalore and gets his ass kicked immediately. Mandalore shows Karath the giant battle-ax he recently built from the wreckage of Karath’s ship, Courageous. Saul Karath feels inadequate and has Adasca’s army of HK-24 assassin droids guard his prisoner, Zayne Carrick, in another room somewhere until they get all this sorted out. Jarael pounces on Zayne and shoves her tongue down his throat so she can warn him about what everyone else has already figured out, that Adasca is clearly evil.

And Mandalore’s is clearly bigger.

Rohlan Dyre comes in to catch up with Mandalore and observes how all of his troops have finally converted to the Neo-Crusader armor, the outfits worn by all the Mandalorians you encounter in the videogame that inspired this comic. Mandalore says, “Yeah even though you betrayed our people and our way of life and cost us our Jedi-research station and top scientist, I was able to spin it so everyone thinks you died with honor and repented your rebellious nature and now they all do whatever I say all the time so we’re cool, bro.” They high-five and Mandalore gives him a new set of Neo-Crusader armor to put on, which Rohlan promptly throws in the garbage dump.

[Continuity Note: After Mandalore the Indomitable’s death on Dxun, the mantle of Mandalore was taken up by another Taung warrior, as the Mandalorians were composed exclusively of the Taung species at this point in Star Wars history. This Mandalore never received an official name in the EU, but author notes from Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide reveal that he was almost called “Mandalore the Unknown,” so that’s what we’ll go with.

[Mandalore the Unknown’s reign would be brief, as he was soon supplanted by another Mandalorian, a puppet of the hidden True Sith Empire used to fight a proxy war against the Republic while the Sith rebuilt their strength in secret. With his people broken and scattered after their defeat in the Great Sith War, he took the name Mandalore the Ultimate, reuniting the Mandalorians with a vision of one final crusade that would consume the galaxy.

[Mandalore the Ultimate took a different tact than his predecessors, relying on politics as much as brute force. Under his rule, the Mandalorians ceased to be a single species and opened their doors to anyone willing to follow their way of life. To cement his powerbase, Ultimate curried favor with fringe movements of radicals who were dissatisfied with the path the Mandalorians had taken since submitting to Sith rule in the last war.

[All of this background lore from roleplaying guides and obscure articles is more interesting than anything that happens in this comic.]

Now this is podracing!

Zayne’s former Jedi Master and architect of the Taris Padawan murders, Lucien Draay, drops in unexpectedly to reminisce about the good old days with his childhood friend, Adasca. Adasca gives him roofied wine that Lucien willingly drinks because he’s so in tune with the Force. He wakes up to find himself surrounded by assassin droids and tied back-to-back with Zayne Carrick. Neither of them says, “Well, looks like we’re back together again.”

Back in the Arkanian Legacy‘s observation dome, Jarael has been contacted by Camper via the transceiver in her bracelet. He tells Jarael she has to escape, because Adasca is clearly evil. She whines about how she can’t escape because of all the worthless droids standing around, but fortunately Zayne and Alek are here to save her. Adasca bitch slaps her and takes away her cell phone, but white knight Alek promises Adasca that if he hits Jarael again, Alek will kill him dead no matter how many times he has to get shot by droids. Adasca cools it with the domestic violence but keeps groping Jarael for the rest of the comic, which Alek is apparently fine with.

Mandalore promises to make Adascorp the sole supplier of weapons and materiel to the Mandalorian forces and the only Republic corporation that will survive their conquest of the galaxy. Although Karath and Alek have nothing to offer that can compete with Mandalore’s bid, for some reason Adasca decides to keep drawing this out and tell the Mandalorians that they will have to pay tribute to him and be his own personal army. Mandalore starts getting a little sick of his shit. Adasca, bro, this rap battle’s clearly been won. What more could you possibly be holding out for?

Meanwhile, Lucien and Zayne help each other escape and kill all the droids with a plastic lunch tray somehow. Lucien immediately turns on Zayne and tries to murder him, but Zayne blocks his teacher’s lightsaber with the phrikite vambraces Camper gave him. Then, although Zayne is still unarmed and Lucien could easily kill him on the follow-up blow, Lucien’s like “Sorry, I had to try lol” and they team up again to put a stop to Adasca’s plans.

Sneaking around the ship, they run into Carth Onasi, who returns Zayne’s lightsaber. Zayne deduces that Jarael is being held hostage to keep Camper working on the space slugs, so Lucien proposes that they just kill her and remove Adasca’s leverage. But then Rohlan also randomly shows up and announces that he has pledged himself to protect Jarael and will shoot Lucien in the face if he tries to murder her. So they all come up with a different, less fun plan.

He’s not even in the room, Zayne.

Zayne and Lucien infiltrate the auction and announce that the Jedi have been in league with Adasca all along and this whole sham has been a trap to apprehend Mandalore. Alek rushes over to confirm their story and the three Jedi move against the Mandalorians, while Adasca wails ineffectually on his throne. The Mandalorians beat a retreat while Camper escapes in the The Last Resort, leaving the droid Elbee (who I keep forgetting is even a character because he hardly ever shows up) sadly calling after him in the Arkanian Legacy‘s docking bay.

Camper, now controlling all the space slugs with his laptop, turns them against Adasca’s fleet. Three of them crash through the observation dome and bear down on Adasca as Camper informs him of his resignation. The whole dome is destroyed and Arkoh Adasca dies screaming. Jeez, Camper, I hope none of your friends were in there, seeing as that’s exactly where they were two seconds earlier. Maybe you should have checked first?

But somehow Zayne, Jarael, Carth, Rohlan, Lucien, Alek, Karath, and Dallan Morvis, Karath’s lover, all conveniently teleported out of the dome before it was eaten by space monsters. As Karath and Morvis make a beeline for their ship, they tell Carth to be sure to bring Zayne along, since he’s still a prisoner and all. “Whoops,” Carth tells Zayne once their backs are turned, “you escaped,” which is cooler than anything he does in the videogame he was created for.

Jarael is on the phone with Camper again and he tells her that he can’t rejoin the group because he has to lead the mind-controlled exogorths out into deep space in the The Last Resort and remove their hyperdrives so they’re no longer a danger to the galaxy. Jarael cries and begs him not to leave but Camper is steadfast in atoning for his sins. Really though I think he just wanted to ditch her for turning him over to his sworn enemies despite knowing that they were his sworn enemies.

Lucien tells Zayne he will take the rest of them to safety if Zayne promises to go back with him to be murdered, I mean to stand trial. Although Lucien is vastly outnumbered and they could probably just take his ship by force (and I don’t mean that kind of Force, I mean choke Lucien while Zayne grabs the ship and they all fly out of the hangar), Alek can only cluck his tongue in disapproval that Lucien would let them all die just to capture Zayne.

Fortunately, at that moment Dob Moomo flies his ship through the wall (Adasca’s ship has more holes in it than Sonny Corleone, how is there any atmosphere left on board?), cutting Lucien off from Zayne and his friends. The door opens and out hops Slyssk, the galaxy’s twee-est Trandoshan, who is not dead after all and reveals that Gryph isn’t either. In fact, Gryph is back on Taris, where this series began, leading a resistance movement against the Mandalorian invasion, and he needs Zayne’s help! I guess that is the only reason he finally decided to let his guilt-stricken protege know he was alive.

Zayne, Jarael, Alek, Rohlan, Elbee, Slyssk, and Dob escape the Arkanian Legacy and set course for Taris. Meanwhile, Lucien has somehow overheard their entire conversation despite being separated from them by a wall of fire aboard an exploding ship. He escapes in his own craft, vowing that the hunt for Zayne Carrick will finally end where it began! TO BE CONCLUDED . . . in about fourteen more monthly issues.

Whoops.

Meditations

Now that this tedious filler arc is over, it’s finally time to get the plot back on track. Daze of Hate is marginally more tolerable than its predecessor, as Zayne, Carth, Alek, and Mandalore are much more fun and intriguing characters than Jarael. That improvement is almost entirely undone, however, by the horrific decline in art quality. I mentioned in the Nights of Anger review how the art was serviceable but not particularly good, but that crap should be framed and hung on a wall compared to the art in these issues.

Zayne looks about forty, and everyone is perpetually constipated. Everything is so ugly, it’s hard to believe this was a professional production released by a real company that legally had the rights to publish Star Wars comics. The characters look like some Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny knockoff you’d see stenciled on the side of a hot dog stand in a traveling carnival.

As for the actual story, I still don’t care about Arkanian science or the stupid exogorth gambit. The most important things that happen in this comic are just setups for future storylines, some of which won’t even come into play until after the Covenant plot has been resolved. Zayne and his friends are fun characters, but this series is best when it’s showing us major events through the eyes of minor players. Hopefully getting the gang back together again and returning to the Mandalorian front will give things a little more juice, especially now that Zayne has recruited the future Darth Malak as a traveling companion.

2/5 Death Stars, Jarael doesn’t change her clothes enough times.