Ben: Speak of the literal devil.
Ben: *literary devil
Ben: Btw, I have altered the deal.
Ben: In defiance of protocol, I have skipped SONG OF SUSANNAH and have nearly finished BLACK HOUSE
and wow, it's actually really good.
Me: Black House is literally the worst book I have ever read.
Ben: I
think my only complaint is that full appreciation of the book requires
subjecting oneself to the literal abortion that is THE TALISMAN.
Ben: *literary abortion
Ben: You aren't allowed to criticize literature, you're the one who set me on this path.
Ben: Don't you see?
Ben: You goes across the desert
Ben: and I goes after ya.
Ben: (Facebook autocorrected that first "fled" to "goes", but I think I managed to pull it off.)
Me: What made Black House's child porn and boy torture more palatable to you sensibilities?
Ben: The unsurpassable nadir of THE TALISMAN.
Me: You must have been so enthralled by the adventures of Jack Sawyer that you couldn't bear not to continue them.
Ben: Trust me when I say that this book is the pinnacle of Stephen King's authorial ability.
Ben: It has, like, the only scary scene in one of his books.
Ben: And the uncomfortable man/boy not-romance is as low as he's ever gone.
Me: Stephen King is the master of horror, Ben.
Ben: It's good enough so far that I'm willing to forgive the inevitably disappointing ending.
Me: Spiders are the scariest thing there is ok.
Me: What was the spooky scene
Ben: The blind dude being stalked in his hom
Me: By a vampyre?
Ben: Did you even read this book.
Me: Approx. 35 years ago.
Ben: Why don't you start reading this series again and see if you can lap me?
Me: It's next on my list once I finish the entire Star Wars EU.
Me: All right let's have your full indepth analysis.
Ben: I enjoy the second-person framing thing that he does to set the scenes.
Ben: His scenes are always too complicated so it's nice to not be lost for once.
Me: Doesn't the book start with like 50 pages of scene establishment before anything happens or any characters are introduced?
Ben: Yeah, which is necessary in every other Stephen King book too except he just doesn't do it.
Ben: Actually, he might have done it in SALEM'S LOT too.
Ben: He rediscovered the technique after 40 years.
Me: Peter Straub knows what the fans want.
Ben: Realtalk, Peter Straub is not a real person right.
Me: As far as I know he is.
Me: Doesn't the book list other books written by him?
Me: Also is this book any more connected to the mythos of the Dark Tower?
Ben: I can't tell if you're shitting on me.
Me: Why would Ptere Straub be fake?
Ben: That's
the other flaw against the book, it rewards you for reading The Longest
Single Work Of Literature In The History Of The English Language.
Ben: What self-respecting author would voluntarily work with Stephen King?
Me: Is that why you skipped Song of Susannah?
Me: Are you dreading King's self insert that much?
Ben: 1. I had a long car trip and I happened to have the one and not the other.
Ben: 2. I have a feeling this book will feature the character of Susannah somehow.
Me: Celebrate diversity.
Ben: The four gunslingers: white guy, white guy, white guy, And The Rest
