The Waste Lands

Ben: So I finished THE WASTE LANDS while doing laundry last night.

Me: That must have been a lot of laundry.

Ben: I really don't have any criticism.

Ben: It was really solid and interesting.

Me: What did you think of the train?

Ben: It's pretty great.

Me: Hahaha.

Ben: Why, what should I think of the train?

Me: I was just wondering.

Ben: It is a fucking pink supersonic monorail driven by an insane suicidal AI who likes to tell riddles.

Ben: Oh man, it was terrible though.

Ben: In my head, I couldn't stop imagining that it was voiced by Owen Wilson.

Me: That is terrible.

Ben: I hope they cast him for the movie adaptation.

Ben: So I suppose I can confirm that THE WASTE LANDS is the best book yet in the Dark Tower decaoctology.

Ben: Lots of action and interesting developments, and Susannah didn't speak much.

Me: What are some interesting developments?

Ben: The house monster.

Ben: Everyone having a psychic link.

Ben: The billy-bumbler.

Ben: Everything about the city.

Ben: Time bein all crazy.

Ben: Blaine the pain.

Ben: And I guess Susannah is pregnant or whatever because why not.

Ben: Gonna make her pretty fucking hard to carry around, especially since they forgot her wheelchair on the train platform for no reason.

Ben: Probably better off, honestly.

Ben: Better abort that kid right now.

Ben: Who the fuck would want to be born into this shitty world?

Ben: Maybe it will be like Renesmee Cullen, where the baby will just be born fully grown so as to better facilitate the plot.

Ben: Time is already proven to be fucked, it would make at least as much sense as it did in TWILIGHT.

Me: Were you relieved that the Tick Tock Man survived?

Ben: I was more relieved that the man in black had returned.

Ben: And that it appeared that he was no longer completely in control of Roland's ka-tet.

Ben: There's finally some kind of conflict.

Ben: You have to strike a balance with this destiny bullshit.

Me: How did you know it was him?

Me: He changed his name again.

Ben: Yeah what a weirdo.

Ben: Just use your real name, dude, this guy doesn't know or care who you are.

Me: So have you finished The Stand yet?

Ben: I'm about 78% through.

Ben: Just 2,000 pages to go.