Ben: Who the fuck is this Callahan guy, is this a reference to something?
Me: I think the darman poured poison sand in his ear one time.
Ben: In all honesty I've forgotten absolutely everything about this character, including why he got on that bus in the first place.
Me: Don't worry, Stephen King recaps 'Salem's Lot later in the book.
Ben: Why the fuck did I read the book then?!?
Me: Summaries can't compare to the full story!
Me: I guess you could have skipped the first four books and just read the recap at the beginning of Wolves though.
Ben: No, because then I would never have begun to nurture this burning hatred of Susannah.
Me: You fucking racist.
Ben: I don't hate black people, I just hate Stephen King's black people.
Me: What about Stephen King's black women?
Ben: I also happen to hate Stephen King's women. Susannah never even had a chance.
Ben: "He felt like a character in a silly festival play, saved at the last moment by some improbable supernatural intervention."
Me: Stephen King summarizes all of his books.
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