Me: Oh no, RIP King Moron.
Me: Why did Teddie become an androgynous twink?
Me: I can’t play this game anymore.
Paul: Teddy is me in the game.
Paul: if u h8 him u h8 (1) me (2) all trans teens
Me: Thanks I hate it.
Paul: why he's cute hahaha
Me: It’s like if Chewbacca became a femboy halfway through the trilogy.
Me: Oh no is he romanceable?
Paul: No I don't think so.
Me: Why would they give you the option to fuck a bear?
Me: Not that kind of bear.
Paul: Honestly though, fucking a femboy furry is pretty low, very internet creep.
Me: At least it’s not a 12-year-old band geek.
Tuesday, February 28, 2023
Thursday, February 23, 2023
Don't Ask, Do Tell
Paul: There are like 5 girls anyways but IIRC kung fu spaz is the fan favorite.
Paul: Don't tell me you prefer Yuki!
Paul: Yukiko.
Me: No it’s too weird how the game keeps having her get hit on by elderly men.
Paul: Okay.... I don't recall this.... Like, actually sexually hit on? Or just like they think she's a good young woman?
Me: She does a TV interview where the reporter is like “You sure look hot in that kimono, I bet you have guys coming by your inn all the time!”
Me: Maybe Kirk did the translation.
Paul: Japanese are so perverts.
Paul: Remember Mr. Moraoka?
Paul: Ugh.
Me: “King Moron” the anti-pervert.
Me: He’s so against perversion it’s perverted.
Me: The two universal themes of anime are guys being perverts and characters constantly thinking about food.
Me: I guess the Japanese are constantly hungry because all they eat is noodles.
Paul: This is why they lost the war.
Me: Apparently there is also a transgender girl who is a popular character?
Me: So progressive for Japan, who apparently put a gay panic rape scene in the follow-up game.
Paul: She's a tomboy who really wanted to be a son.
Paul: Idk if she's "transgender."
Paul: Haha wait until you see how they treat the ambiguously gay character in THIS game!
Me: Bro this game is savage.
Me: I failed a flirt roll and it said “Unfortunately you didn’t actually have the courage to say that.”
Me: It really is just like high school!
Paul: Haha RAISE YOUR STATS
Me: YOU CAN ONLY RAISE YOUR STATS BY EATING BEEF
Me: I’m RPing as a vegan.
Paul: I forget what the best way to raise stats was.
Paul: Was it eating at the best restaurant? I kind of think so.
Me: Rainy Day Beef Bowl Challenge or something.
Paul: Very powerful soup.
Paul: Didn't it raise like 40 stats at once?
Paul: Lol video game.
Me: It raises all your stats but only if you already have high enough stats.
Me: My diligence is too low from not going to soccer practice so I can’t get the full boost.
Paul: Dude sports practice!!
Paul: Isn't there a social link from that?
Me: Yeah but those are the most boringest characters.
Me: I can’t force myself to play sports in video games.
Paul: Hahaha dude....IIRC I too immediately dropped their social link.
Paul: Did not care about those characters.
Paul: I think my fave was the little brother of the first murder victim.
Paul: Think he only shows up much later.
Me: Yeah haven’t met him yet.
Me: I am in like early June after playing for 13 hours.
Paul: Does it start in April? Japanese school year is weird.
Me: I think so.
Me: It took me a while to figure out why I was going to school on Saturday.
Paul: lol
Paul: What dungeons have you completed?
Me: Yokiko castle and Gay Guy gay sauna.
Paul: Yukiko was a hard boss for me!
Paul: Omg that guy is so gay but like...idk I think they portray him as straight later on? It's weird. Cool character though.
Me: I think she killed my whole team but I have it set to the lowest difficulty so they just came back to life.
Me: When he sublimated his shadow he realized that his queerness wasn’t caused by his hatred of women but by his fear of being rejected.
Paul: Oh one of THOSE.
Me: It’s not about who he’s attracted to, it’s about loving himself so others can love him as well.
Me: But he is totally gay though.
Paul: I still... yeah I thought it was interesting but a lil off, like they couldn't have a full gay character. Idk, compared to [what] we have today, a bi guy who goes gay because it's easier and less stressful than getting pussy is... kind of refreshingly nuanced?
Me: Yuoususkaske is clearly queer-coded by his homo devotion to the protagonist + going into gay panic in the face of Tatusumeisme’s openly gay shadow self.
Me: I read an article about how this game was a complete failure of LGBT representation because the gays weren’t gay enough and the trans wasn’t really trans.
Me: The solution is to make every character in Persona 6 bisexual so the player can fuck all of them.
Paul: ME3 style!
Paul: You're right, it's actually better that it be a little ambiguous.
Me: They did that in Dragon Age II where every romance NPC will respond to you the same regardless of your gender.
Paul: Americans want to slot people into sex categories lol, maybe WE'RE autistic and the Japanese are actually normal.
Me: That is less interesting to me because it kind of takes away from your ability to customize your character, your gender doesn’t really matter if the game doesn’t acknowledge it.
Me: But whatever, just let me fuck them all!
Me: Well it probably doesn’t help that all the DA2 characters are boring and lame.
Paul: In a game called Dick Ass 2...? No kidding.
Paul: Dude who's the best character?
Paul: In your opinion.
Me: Well from watching the anime intro there are two more party members to recruit, girl with pigtails and trans detective.
Paul: I mean generally, including the NPCs.
Me: I like Chai Tea, Yousuke, your uncle the cop, and the little girl.
Me: Oh and the fox.
Paul: Chie is honestly a good sturdy woman.
Paul: The uncle rocks.
Me: I laughed out loud when the game was like “gather the gang to discuss the case?” and then the fox was randomly there sitting at the table with everyone and no one commented on it.
Paul: Anime moment.
Paul: Anyhow you forgot to mention Teddy.
Paul: The greatest bear alive.
Me: He’s an empty costume.
Paul: Have you seen inside?
Paul: Scary.
Me: Are you supposed to figure out who the killer is? Like is it an established character or just some bullshit demon or something?
Paul: Figure it out, it's a person in the game with a portrait and everything.
Me: Ok cool.
Paul: Don't tell me you prefer Yuki!
Paul: Yukiko.
Me: No it’s too weird how the game keeps having her get hit on by elderly men.
Paul: Okay.... I don't recall this.... Like, actually sexually hit on? Or just like they think she's a good young woman?
Me: She does a TV interview where the reporter is like “You sure look hot in that kimono, I bet you have guys coming by your inn all the time!”
Me: Maybe Kirk did the translation.
Paul: Japanese are so perverts.
Paul: Remember Mr. Moraoka?
Paul: Ugh.
Me: “King Moron” the anti-pervert.
Me: He’s so against perversion it’s perverted.
Me: The two universal themes of anime are guys being perverts and characters constantly thinking about food.
Me: I guess the Japanese are constantly hungry because all they eat is noodles.
Paul: This is why they lost the war.
Me: Apparently there is also a transgender girl who is a popular character?
Me: So progressive for Japan, who apparently put a gay panic rape scene in the follow-up game.
Paul: She's a tomboy who really wanted to be a son.
Paul: Idk if she's "transgender."
Paul: Haha wait until you see how they treat the ambiguously gay character in THIS game!
Me: Bro this game is savage.
Me: I failed a flirt roll and it said “Unfortunately you didn’t actually have the courage to say that.”
Me: It really is just like high school!
Paul: Haha RAISE YOUR STATS
Me: YOU CAN ONLY RAISE YOUR STATS BY EATING BEEF
Me: I’m RPing as a vegan.
Paul: I forget what the best way to raise stats was.
Paul: Was it eating at the best restaurant? I kind of think so.
Me: Rainy Day Beef Bowl Challenge or something.
Paul: Very powerful soup.
Paul: Didn't it raise like 40 stats at once?
Paul: Lol video game.
Me: It raises all your stats but only if you already have high enough stats.
Me: My diligence is too low from not going to soccer practice so I can’t get the full boost.
Paul: Dude sports practice!!
Paul: Isn't there a social link from that?
Me: Yeah but those are the most boringest characters.
Me: I can’t force myself to play sports in video games.
Paul: Hahaha dude....IIRC I too immediately dropped their social link.
Paul: Did not care about those characters.
Paul: I think my fave was the little brother of the first murder victim.
Paul: Think he only shows up much later.
Me: Yeah haven’t met him yet.
Me: I am in like early June after playing for 13 hours.
Paul: Does it start in April? Japanese school year is weird.
Me: I think so.
Me: It took me a while to figure out why I was going to school on Saturday.
Paul: lol
Paul: What dungeons have you completed?
Me: Yokiko castle and Gay Guy gay sauna.
Paul: Yukiko was a hard boss for me!
Paul: Omg that guy is so gay but like...idk I think they portray him as straight later on? It's weird. Cool character though.
Me: I think she killed my whole team but I have it set to the lowest difficulty so they just came back to life.
Me: When he sublimated his shadow he realized that his queerness wasn’t caused by his hatred of women but by his fear of being rejected.
Paul: Oh one of THOSE.
Me: It’s not about who he’s attracted to, it’s about loving himself so others can love him as well.
Me: But he is totally gay though.
Paul: I still... yeah I thought it was interesting but a lil off, like they couldn't have a full gay character. Idk, compared to [what] we have today, a bi guy who goes gay because it's easier and less stressful than getting pussy is... kind of refreshingly nuanced?
Me: Yuoususkaske is clearly queer-coded by his homo devotion to the protagonist + going into gay panic in the face of Tatusumeisme’s openly gay shadow self.
Me: I read an article about how this game was a complete failure of LGBT representation because the gays weren’t gay enough and the trans wasn’t really trans.
Me: The solution is to make every character in Persona 6 bisexual so the player can fuck all of them.
Paul: ME3 style!
Paul: You're right, it's actually better that it be a little ambiguous.
Me: They did that in Dragon Age II where every romance NPC will respond to you the same regardless of your gender.
Paul: Americans want to slot people into sex categories lol, maybe WE'RE autistic and the Japanese are actually normal.
Me: That is less interesting to me because it kind of takes away from your ability to customize your character, your gender doesn’t really matter if the game doesn’t acknowledge it.
Me: But whatever, just let me fuck them all!
Me: Well it probably doesn’t help that all the DA2 characters are boring and lame.
Paul: In a game called Dick Ass 2...? No kidding.
Paul: Dude who's the best character?
Paul: In your opinion.
Me: Well from watching the anime intro there are two more party members to recruit, girl with pigtails and trans detective.
Paul: I mean generally, including the NPCs.
Me: I like Chai Tea, Yousuke, your uncle the cop, and the little girl.
Me: Oh and the fox.
Paul: Chie is honestly a good sturdy woman.
Paul: The uncle rocks.
Me: I laughed out loud when the game was like “gather the gang to discuss the case?” and then the fox was randomly there sitting at the table with everyone and no one commented on it.
Paul: Anime moment.
Paul: Anyhow you forgot to mention Teddy.
Paul: The greatest bear alive.
Me: He’s an empty costume.
Paul: Have you seen inside?
Paul: Scary.
Me: Are you supposed to figure out who the killer is? Like is it an established character or just some bullshit demon or something?
Paul: Figure it out, it's a person in the game with a portrait and everything.
Me: Ok cool.
Sunday, February 19, 2023
Anime Murder Mystery
Me: Hahaha what the fuck
Paul: It's an anime murder mystery!! Inside the television sets of a small town!
Me: Anime Twin Peaks, basically.
Me: Is this what they call a “visual novel”?
Me: 90% of the gameplay so far is clicking through text.
Paul: Japanese games are kind of on rails, they can be super linear.
Paul: This one is super linear.
Paul: Yeah the entire plot is on a timer like in ME2 after the Collectors attacked the ship.
Paul: You're on a schedule the entire game.
Paul: Only covers you have are when to do main plot things and whom to hang out with outside of school.
Paul: Honestly, just play Fallout 2. Less time investment and less Japanese.
Me: I can’t with those old CRPGs.
Me: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
Paul: You'll never escape clicking.
Paul: Fallout 2 is honestly better storywise.
Paul: No but actually there are a lot of keyboard shortcuts, like K kills something etc.
Paul: Yeah Persona 4 is in retrospect like 50 hours of JRPG spreadsheet and calendar management with a totally bizarre anime main plot and admittedly good anime side plots, nice design and great music.
Paul: If you don't like anime I don't think you'll finish it.
Paul: Also it's annoying near the end where you have to get things exactly right or else it gives you a shit ending haha.
Paul: Fallout 2, Subnautica, Tyranny, Outer Worlds... All objectively better.
Paul: If you want a linear story-based RPG, then I guess it's your ticket?
Paul: .....But if you want a story-based RPG in a really well built WORLD, like Mass Effect or Kotor, srsly it's not the game for you, the others are.
Paul: Surely the CRPG is less foreign to you than the JRPG?
Me: It’s weird and different but I don’t dislike it. The time management stuff is getting irritating because apparently you have to join clubs and get a job to raise your stats but that limits potential party interactions.
Me: Unless it’s a false dilemma like in those stupid Telltale games and none of your choices actually matter.
Me: Combat is a little tedious but basically just Pokémon so I’m used to it.
Me: Otherwise it’s fine. Whereas I was unable to progress very far in Planescape: Torment because the interface was so dense and unintuitive.
Paul: You 100% have to pick and choose. I think technically if you follow a guide you can do it all but lol how annoying.
Paul: I think that game is boring. All the lore is D&D lore. That's such a boring world.
Paul: Idk yeah I think it doesn't matter too much what you tell your party members.... Except for a handful of cases.
Me: I remember playing the Telltale Walking Dead game like 10 years ago and there’s one part where one of your party members abruptly gets murdered so I was like whoops must have picked a wrong dialogue so I replayed that section half a dozen times before realizing oh you can’t prevent this I guess. So I replayed other parts where you had to make decisions and you eventually were railroaded to same place either way.
Me: What a betrayal lol.
Paul: Yeah well
Paul: Idk, actually I remember there are some decisions which don't matter (most story events) and a fair number that do.
Paul: Like, if you're doing a character's side quest and they ask you a question... Like once every two or three choices it's am important one. You have to rely on your understanding of that character to say the right thing to them.
Paul: Fuck it up and they'll like you less.... Sometimes just stop hanging with you altogether.
Paul: You know, in the massive emphasis on character side quests it IS a lot like Mass Effect.
Paul: ME2 specifically.
Me: Do the characters from like band club or whatever eventually become involved in the TV world plot or are they permanent distractions?
Paul: Some do... It might surprise you what characters the TV plotline suddenly entraps.
Paul: But mostly no.
Paul: You know....a group of high school kids dealing with a supernatural threat is actually right up your alley. You like Animorphs, you probably liked Stranger Things.
Paul: You will eventually have a choice between band and theatre. I recommend you choose theater, that character's narrative is a lot more compelling.
Paul: Full disclosure: I chose band camp and the band camp girl is super cute and I was down with being her platonic friend.
Paul: And then the game decided this 12-year-old had a crush on the MC, and that you could date her and it wasn't weird at all.
Paul: Of course the real problem is that she's a boring character compared to the theater girl.
Paul: Anyways if you dislike a character you can just ignore them and not be their friend, skipping their activity.
Paul: Date a 12-year-old, it's cool in Japan.
Paul: Don't you want to be cool?
Me: I do like the premise! Also very Twin Peaks with some Stephen King’s It.
Me: They should have stopped Stranger Things after season 1.
Paul: Yes.
Me: The latest season is better but each episode is the length of feature film so I can’t force myself to sit through it.
Paul: Yes.
Paul: This is the story of all television.
Paul: I mean, IMO it may also be the story of Western Civilization but jury's out.
Me: Feel bad for Gen Z who has to “binge watch” terrible Netflix shows just to maintain any meaningful social interaction with each other.
Me: In high school I was binging 30-year-old detective shows on DVD.
Paul: You could still be a rebel today I think.
Me:
Me: Anime Twin Peaks, basically.
Me: Is this what they call a “visual novel”?
Me: 90% of the gameplay so far is clicking through text.
Paul: Japanese games are kind of on rails, they can be super linear.
Paul: This one is super linear.
Paul: Yeah the entire plot is on a timer like in ME2 after the Collectors attacked the ship.
Paul: You're on a schedule the entire game.
Paul: Only covers you have are when to do main plot things and whom to hang out with outside of school.
Paul: Honestly, just play Fallout 2. Less time investment and less Japanese.
Me: I can’t with those old CRPGs.
Me: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
Paul: You'll never escape clicking.
Paul: Fallout 2 is honestly better storywise.
Paul: No but actually there are a lot of keyboard shortcuts, like K kills something etc.
Paul: Yeah Persona 4 is in retrospect like 50 hours of JRPG spreadsheet and calendar management with a totally bizarre anime main plot and admittedly good anime side plots, nice design and great music.
Paul: If you don't like anime I don't think you'll finish it.
Paul: Also it's annoying near the end where you have to get things exactly right or else it gives you a shit ending haha.
Paul: Fallout 2, Subnautica, Tyranny, Outer Worlds... All objectively better.
Paul: If you want a linear story-based RPG, then I guess it's your ticket?
Paul: .....But if you want a story-based RPG in a really well built WORLD, like Mass Effect or Kotor, srsly it's not the game for you, the others are.
Paul: Surely the CRPG is less foreign to you than the JRPG?
Me: It’s weird and different but I don’t dislike it. The time management stuff is getting irritating because apparently you have to join clubs and get a job to raise your stats but that limits potential party interactions.
Me: Unless it’s a false dilemma like in those stupid Telltale games and none of your choices actually matter.
Me: Combat is a little tedious but basically just Pokémon so I’m used to it.
Me: Otherwise it’s fine. Whereas I was unable to progress very far in Planescape: Torment because the interface was so dense and unintuitive.
Paul: You 100% have to pick and choose. I think technically if you follow a guide you can do it all but lol how annoying.
Paul: I think that game is boring. All the lore is D&D lore. That's such a boring world.
Paul: Idk yeah I think it doesn't matter too much what you tell your party members.... Except for a handful of cases.
Me: I remember playing the Telltale Walking Dead game like 10 years ago and there’s one part where one of your party members abruptly gets murdered so I was like whoops must have picked a wrong dialogue so I replayed that section half a dozen times before realizing oh you can’t prevent this I guess. So I replayed other parts where you had to make decisions and you eventually were railroaded to same place either way.
Me: What a betrayal lol.
Paul: Yeah well
Paul: Idk, actually I remember there are some decisions which don't matter (most story events) and a fair number that do.
Paul: Like, if you're doing a character's side quest and they ask you a question... Like once every two or three choices it's am important one. You have to rely on your understanding of that character to say the right thing to them.
Paul: Fuck it up and they'll like you less.... Sometimes just stop hanging with you altogether.
Paul: You know, in the massive emphasis on character side quests it IS a lot like Mass Effect.
Paul: ME2 specifically.
Me: Do the characters from like band club or whatever eventually become involved in the TV world plot or are they permanent distractions?
Paul: Some do... It might surprise you what characters the TV plotline suddenly entraps.
Paul: But mostly no.
Paul: You know....a group of high school kids dealing with a supernatural threat is actually right up your alley. You like Animorphs, you probably liked Stranger Things.
Paul: You will eventually have a choice between band and theatre. I recommend you choose theater, that character's narrative is a lot more compelling.
Paul: Full disclosure: I chose band camp and the band camp girl is super cute and I was down with being her platonic friend.
Paul: And then the game decided this 12-year-old had a crush on the MC, and that you could date her and it wasn't weird at all.
Paul: Of course the real problem is that she's a boring character compared to the theater girl.
Paul: Anyways if you dislike a character you can just ignore them and not be their friend, skipping their activity.
Paul: Date a 12-year-old, it's cool in Japan.
Paul: Don't you want to be cool?
Me: I do like the premise! Also very Twin Peaks with some Stephen King’s It.
Me: They should have stopped Stranger Things after season 1.
Paul: Yes.
Me: The latest season is better but each episode is the length of feature film so I can’t force myself to sit through it.
Paul: Yes.
Paul: This is the story of all television.
Paul: I mean, IMO it may also be the story of Western Civilization but jury's out.
Me: Feel bad for Gen Z who has to “binge watch” terrible Netflix shows just to maintain any meaningful social interaction with each other.
Me: In high school I was binging 30-year-old detective shows on DVD.
Paul: You could still be a rebel today I think.
Me:
Paul: Idk how it'd go down.
Paul: The nouveau fascism is worse on the coasts and with the rich.
Me: But the real question is
Me: Which underage schoolgirl in this pervert game is best waifu?
Me: I feel like the game is pushing me toward spastic kung fu movie nerd girl by front-loading her interactions.
Paul: I went with her, she's down to earth.
Paul: Another girl who shows up late in the game is also great though.
Thursday, February 16, 2023
Persona Non Grata
Me: Have you played any of the Persona games?
Me: “They're contemporary games set in modern Japan with a very refreshing urban fantasy take based on Jungian psychology and world mythology as opposed to Tolkienesque fantasy, and they're turn based but with a really snappy style of combat. If you can get past some of the anime tropes I feel you'll get everything from those games that you'd also get from a bioware joint.”
Paul: Yes I love them.
Paul: Persona 4 was cool.
Paul: 5 jumped the shark and the main plot made no sense, so it was frustrating.
Paul: 3 is a little too hardcore for most people, the story gets dark near the end and the battles can be so fucking unfair.
Paul: I'd recommend playing Persona 4 for the PS2, then P3 if you liked P4.
Paul: Idk though tbf, they are very anime.
Paul: I'm not sure you'd like them if you're not a little weeaboo.
Me: THIS HAND OF MINE IS BURNING RED
Me: I was listening to a let's play of KOTOR 2 and the guy kept saying that it reminded him of Persona, but not sure if he meant the subject matter or the awkward fan service.
Me: “They're contemporary games set in modern Japan with a very refreshing urban fantasy take based on Jungian psychology and world mythology as opposed to Tolkienesque fantasy, and they're turn based but with a really snappy style of combat. If you can get past some of the anime tropes I feel you'll get everything from those games that you'd also get from a bioware joint.”
Paul: Yes I love them.
Paul: Persona 4 was cool.
Paul: 5 jumped the shark and the main plot made no sense, so it was frustrating.
Paul: 3 is a little too hardcore for most people, the story gets dark near the end and the battles can be so fucking unfair.
Paul: I'd recommend playing Persona 4 for the PS2, then P3 if you liked P4.
Paul: Idk though tbf, they are very anime.
Paul: I'm not sure you'd like them if you're not a little weeaboo.
Me: THIS HAND OF MINE IS BURNING RED
Me: I was listening to a let's play of KOTOR 2 and the guy kept saying that it reminded him of Persona, but not sure if he meant the subject matter or the awkward fan service.
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