Ben: Finished dat book.
Ben: The Glass in the Rosehole.
Me: Was it the missing link in your understanding of the Dartower mythos?
Ben: Perhaps it will turn out to be.
Ben: Or maybe I will be forced to reread it to glean the hidden significance.
Me: Let's have your Twitlonger review.
Ben: I liked the creamy nougat of the book.
Ben: Stephen King missed his calling.
Ben: He should have been an author.
Ben: But instead he became a novelist.
Me: Is the creamy nougat the part with the dark man and the talking tiger?
Ben: It is the centermost narrative.
Me: It's been three years since I read the book so I'm a little rusty.
Ben: It was a nice little fable thing.
Ben: The framing narrative was utterly forgettable.
Ben: The metaframing narrative was barely there but was okay.
Me: You weren't dying to see Roland fight a werewolf?
Ben: Nothing really happened.
Ben: Honestly until you asked for my review I had forgotten that the book did not just end when Tim got home.
Me: The book had almost as many endings as Return of the King.
Me: Do you have anything else to add or should we move on to your review of Batman: Return of the Darknight?
Ben: Hold on I have not seen it yet!!!
Ben: No spoilers.
Ben: Okay so what is next?
Ben: Let's bust out the shoebox.
Ben: EVERYTHING'S EVENTUAL.
Me: Two stories in Everything's Eventual.
First is the eponymous "Everything's Eventual."
Me: Then "Little Sisters of Eluria."
Me: Then I think the rest of the novels should be in the right order.
Ben: God damn it.
Me: Next is Insomnia, then DARTOWER 5.
Ben: This will be the fourth Stephen King book in a row that is just a collection of short stories.
Ben: After all this waiting this better be good.
Me: He's still on that fucking bus, dude.
Me: It's a long bus ride between worlds.
Me: Do you even remember who Father Callahan is?
Ben:
He better come riding from the sky, swooping down from upon a Valkyrie
with which he also having sex, while firing two semiautomatic silver
pistols.
Me: What if he shows up in Roland's world only to die immediately?
Ben:
You mean like he comes swooping down upon his Valkyrie and then upon
hitting the ground he immediately has his dick bitten off by a lobster.
Me: DID A CHICK.
Ben: He gives Eddie a single high five and then falls dead.
Ben: THEN HE RISES AS A VAMPIRE OH SHIT.
Ben: I'm serious, if his cameo is as insubstantial as the Wickerclock Man you're not getting your books back.
Ben: Salem's Lot was BOOK FUCKING TWO.
Me: He actually travels back in time and is immediately shot to death by his own mother while she is pregnant with him.
Ben: We are on EIGHT.
Ben: Oh god damn it.
Ben: Fuck you, Daniel Faraday.
Me: But he was your favorite.
Me: I think.
Ben: I've actually forgotten the specifics of how he died, other than "it was shitty."
Ben: Not that I remember much at all from that year so
Ben: not really surprising.
Ben: Did you go see Darknight 2: Darknighter?
Me: No.
Me: Are you going to wait until the costume ban is lifted before you go see it?
Me: You can't wear a costume to the theater because someone shot up a theater while not wearing a costume.
Ben: But srsly, Officer, these are just my clothes.
Ben: I live on the street, this Kermit the Frog outfit is all I have.
Me: BRUCE WAYNE ARRESTED FOR WEARING COSTUME TO BATMAN PREMIERE
Ben: "I'M HIS BIGGEST FAN" ~ BRUCE WAYNE
Me: BRUCE WAYNE: SECRET COSPLAYER?
Ben: CHRISTIAN BALE ARRESTED FOR WEARING BRUCE WAYNE COSTUME TO BATMAN PREMIERE
"SERIOUSLY THIS IS JUST MY FACE PLEASE STOP CUTTING" ~ CHRISTIAN BALE
Me: TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!!!
Ben: Are the new Half in the Bags out yet?
Me: The latest is one on Rise of the Dark Knight Surfer but i haven't watched it because of spoilers.
Me: There are also ones for Spider-Man, Abaraham Lincolon Vampire Slayer, Prometheus, and Daniel Tosh.
Ben: Holy shit.
Ben: There are a lot of new ones.
Ben: Wasn't the Red Tails one the last one we saw?
Me: I think Avengers.
Ben: Oh right we did not watch every single one.
Me: No there are dozens.
Me: Once History of Power Rangers is finished we can go back and watch them all.
Ben: It's finished.
Ben: And for the record Desmond was my favorite character.
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