Separation Anxiety

 

Droids (1986) #5: Separated!

Writer: George Carragone

Penciler: Mary Wilshire

Medium: Comic

Publication date: September 1986

Timeline placement: 15 BBY

 

Ignore everything I said in the previous review about the Droids comics possibly being set a hundred years in the past, because issue #5 references the Galactic Empire by name, placing this story firmly within the lifetimes of the movie characters. I guess the explanation for the droids time-traveling a century into the future to meet the Ewoks is that no one working on this series had any clue what they were doing. 

Artoo and Threepio find themselves in search of a new master on the planet R-Duba, a backwater trading world governed by the young Prince Jagoda. A wall divides the planet into halves, and anyone wanting to travel from one side of the planet to the other has to pay a heavy travel tax. Just like in 1980s Berlin.

 

The droids come across The Droid Store, operated by one Van P. Quist. Kirk Windjammer, captain of the water-based cargo loader Seaskimmer, comes in and buys R2-D2 to help him run his business, but he has no need for a protocol droid. After a tearful separation, Threepio is left behind to languish. Eventually he's purchased by Baron Starlock, an adviser to the prince.

 

Kirk Windjammer, who gives no indication in the comic of being anything other than a native of R-Duba but was pointlessly retconned to being an immigrant from the prequel-era planet Vanqor, puts Artoo to work helping him pilot the Seaskimmer, which Artoo does by extending a number of mechanical arms from his face and jacking into the watercraft's computer console. On their first delivery job together, Artoo accidentally drops their cargo onto the deck of their customers' deck, revealing that the crates are full of illegal blasters. Surprise, it turns out they're working for disguised Skrulls trying to take over the planet!

 

Meanwhile, C-3PO is putting his translation skills to work in the palace of Prince Jagoda when his "advanced hearing" picks up a conversation between Baron Starlock and Skrull Ambassador Kawakal where they discuss their plans to assassinate the prince and and seize power. Threepio goes to warn the prince but Starlock's droid, BX-00, strikes first. Threepio beats the assassin to death with a piece of statuary, then sees himself promoted to the position of chief adviser as the two conspirators are banished.

 

Kirk Windjammer and R2-D2 arrive at the palace to warn the prince about the Skrulls' secret invasion, only to find Threepio being chauffeured through the gates in a purple space limo. "Artoo-Detoo! Oh, my! Artoo, it is you! It is you!" Threepio exclaims, as after 15 pages the two friends are reunited at last.

 

Using his newfound influence, Threepio is able to get Artoo and Kirk in the door to meet with the prince, who appoints Kirk in charge of the planet's defenses for some ineffable reason. Kirk and the droids lead a fleet of 20 ships to confront the Skrull invasion fleet, which for some reason is attacking from R-Duba's own ocean instead of, you know, space. The flagship's captain asks Threepio for orders, but before the chief adviser's hesitation and confusion have a chance to get everyone killed, the Skrulls call off their invasion and go home, cowed by the slightest pretense of resistance.

 

The prince asks what he can do to repay Kirk Windjammer, who did nothing. Kirk replies, "Mr. Jagoda, tear down this wall." The droids sneak away in the middle of the night, leaving a note that names Kirk as C-3PO's replacement as chief adviser. Kirk accepts the job, and his first piece of advice to the prince that they never forget those two droids who saved their planet and ended the threat of communism for all time.

 

These Droids comics are fun but exhausting. Every issue introduces an all-new cast, location, and premise, but eventually ends up feeling pretty samey. It would have been nice to see some longer story arcs, but that won't happen until Dark Horse's Droids comics in the '90s. So it might be for the best that the droids' early adventures only lasted for five issues. Just like R2-D2 and C-3PO during their servitude to their various masters, this cute little comic knew not to stick around long enough to wear out its welcome.