Remember when “must-see TV” didn’t mean you were literally required to watch every episode of a given show if you didn’t want to completely lose track of the plot? Television was once known as a medium where characters and situations never changed. Which comes first in story chronology, the episode where Lucy works in a chocolate factory or the episode where Lucy sets her nose on fire? The episode where Dick Van Dyke is a homicidal photographer, or the episode where Johnny Cash kills his pregnant underage mistress in a plane crash? It doesn’t matter, because the events have no relation to one another; in the golden age of television, almost every episode was a self-contained universe of storytelling.
Now, quick: what is the best TV show of the last 20 years? Conventional wisdom would suggest you picked either The Sopranos, The Wire, or Breaking Bad (with a begrudging allowance for Mad Men). Besides phenomenal writing, acting, directing, and the ability to drop the occasional f-bomb (or 3,500), what do these shows have in common? How about the fact that if you watch a random episode from the middle of any of them you’ll likely have no idea what anyone’s talking about and find no emotional investment in the plot or characters?
As people’s attention spans have gotten shorter, and as digital delivery has addicted us to watching whole seasons at once, television’s reliance on its audience’s attention span has greatly increased. The medium, once structured around the kind of storytelling in which each installment ended at the same place it began, is now praised for narrative arcs that span an entire season at a time, if not the complete length of the show.
There’s a lot to be said for grade-A programs like Breaking Bad and The Sopranos, flawed experiments like Lost and the first four seasons of Dexter, and even relics of the ’90s like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Babylon 5, about their place in the history of television and its transition from episodic to serialized storytelling. But what happens to the old-style stories we once loved, now too boring to ever watch again because, even after an entire season, nothing actually happens?
I am an ardent supporter of languishing in misplaced nostalgia for our ill-spent youth, but seriously, who today would sit through half a dozen episodes of Goku fighting ghosts in the Other World?
Enter Episodic Nostalgia, a new series updated every whenever I feel like it. Episodic Nostalgia pinpoints the key installments of classic series, stringing them together into a semi-coherent narrative that may or may not have been originally intended by its creators! Following this guide, every episode you watch advances the plot and there is no filler—there’s no better way to watch a show you probably shouldn’t waste your time watching in the first place.
First up: Beast Wars!!
Now, quick: what is the best TV show of the last 20 years? Conventional wisdom would suggest you picked either The Sopranos, The Wire, or Breaking Bad (with a begrudging allowance for Mad Men). Besides phenomenal writing, acting, directing, and the ability to drop the occasional f-bomb (or 3,500), what do these shows have in common? How about the fact that if you watch a random episode from the middle of any of them you’ll likely have no idea what anyone’s talking about and find no emotional investment in the plot or characters?
As people’s attention spans have gotten shorter, and as digital delivery has addicted us to watching whole seasons at once, television’s reliance on its audience’s attention span has greatly increased. The medium, once structured around the kind of storytelling in which each installment ended at the same place it began, is now praised for narrative arcs that span an entire season at a time, if not the complete length of the show.
There’s a lot to be said for grade-A programs like Breaking Bad and The Sopranos, flawed experiments like Lost and the first four seasons of Dexter, and even relics of the ’90s like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Babylon 5, about their place in the history of television and its transition from episodic to serialized storytelling. But what happens to the old-style stories we once loved, now too boring to ever watch again because, even after an entire season, nothing actually happens?
I am an ardent supporter of languishing in misplaced nostalgia for our ill-spent youth, but seriously, who today would sit through half a dozen episodes of Goku fighting ghosts in the Other World?
Enter Episodic Nostalgia, a new series updated every whenever I feel like it. Episodic Nostalgia pinpoints the key installments of classic series, stringing them together into a semi-coherent narrative that may or may not have been originally intended by its creators! Following this guide, every episode you watch advances the plot and there is no filler—there’s no better way to watch a show you probably shouldn’t waste your time watching in the first place.
First up: Beast Wars!!
Beast Wars was a very good show, but one forever in the shadow (along with all other shows under the Transformers umbrella) of being made purely as a toy commercial. Produced by Mainframe Entertainment from 1996 to 1999, Beast Wars had to come of age in the shadow of not only the original Transformers cartoon of the 1980s, but also Mainframe’s groundbreaking original intellectual property, ReBoot.
Beast Wars tells the story of a marooned group of Transformers set centuries after the Generation One (G1) Transformers cartoon. The descendants of the ancient Autobots and Decepticons have developed into new factions: the heroic Maximals, led in the show by Optimus Primal, and the evil Predacons, led by the conniving genius Megatron (no relation to that other Megatron). Rather than disguising themselves as vehicles, these new Transformers take the forms of animals to protect their robotic bodies from the harmful radiation of an unstable form of the element Energon.
Despite a first season of largely hit-or-miss filler episodes, the Beast Wars creative team finally found their voice in the show’s impeccable second season and its regrettably rushed third. Today, Beast Wars is perhaps the series viewed most favorably by Transformers fans, who applaud it for its character development, long-running storylines, literary allusions, humor, and tasteful handling of mature themes in a children’s cartoon. While obviously an artifact from the early days of computer animation, the series remains completely watchable thanks to the strength of its writing and characters, especially once most of the character models receive a complete makeover in season two.
Anyone with even a passing interest in quality animation, or to whom Transformers means more than a whorish commercial brand name, would do well to follow this spoiler-lite episode guide to the best parts of a critically acclaimed but largely forgotten series.
Beast Wars tells the story of a marooned group of Transformers set centuries after the Generation One (G1) Transformers cartoon. The descendants of the ancient Autobots and Decepticons have developed into new factions: the heroic Maximals, led in the show by Optimus Primal, and the evil Predacons, led by the conniving genius Megatron (no relation to that other Megatron). Rather than disguising themselves as vehicles, these new Transformers take the forms of animals to protect their robotic bodies from the harmful radiation of an unstable form of the element Energon.
Despite a first season of largely hit-or-miss filler episodes, the Beast Wars creative team finally found their voice in the show’s impeccable second season and its regrettably rushed third. Today, Beast Wars is perhaps the series viewed most favorably by Transformers fans, who applaud it for its character development, long-running storylines, literary allusions, humor, and tasteful handling of mature themes in a children’s cartoon. While obviously an artifact from the early days of computer animation, the series remains completely watchable thanks to the strength of its writing and characters, especially once most of the character models receive a complete makeover in season two.
Anyone with even a passing interest in quality animation, or to whom Transformers means more than a whorish commercial brand name, would do well to follow this spoiler-lite episode guide to the best parts of a critically acclaimed but largely forgotten series.
“Beast Wars” (season 1, episodes 1 & 2)
Much like the original Transformers cartoon, Beast Wars begins with two enemy starships falling toward a planet. Over the course of the two-part pilot, we get to know the 10 original characters, eight of whom we’ll come to know even better over the course of the show’s run. We get a sense of what this conflict is about (at least initially) and how it started, and a general idea of how this story is connected to the ’80s cartoon we all remember. A little slow and occasionally awkward (“If we’re talking unnatural life forms, then we gotta be talking about just one thing: robots in disguise!” cries cocky teen-robot Cheetor), these episodes are nonetheless essential setup, if not the most accurate gauge for what the series will eventually become.
“Chain of Command” (season 1, episode 5)
Following filler episodes in which Cheetor must make amends for his youthful brashness and Cheetor and Terrorsaur switch places due to a wacky teleportation mishap, we get our first real “mytharc” episode. While investigating a strange artificial rock formation first glimpsed in the pilot, the Maximals are thrown into disarray when Optimus Primal disappears. Now leaderless and outnumbered, they must learn to reconcile their personality conflicts without guidance and work together as a team for the first time. A pretty basic “our leader is missing” episode, but notable for setting off the series’ long-running alien architects plotline.
“Fallen Comrades” (season 1, episode 7)
One filler episode later, we get our first addition to the main cast. In season one, all new characters arrive on the planet in a dormant state known as a “protoform.” As such, their allegiance, although Maximal by default, is not finalized, and each new arrival sparks off a race between the Maximals and Predacons to reach the new Transformer first and ensure its programming for their own side. The first such episode, “Fallen Comrades” does a decent job of establishing the situation’s stakes, with a wounded Optimus Primal planning the rescue strategy from the confines of a restoration chamber.
“Double Jeopardy” (season 1, episode 8)
The introduction of Blackarachnia, the first fully realized female character in the Transformers franchise. The rest of the plot, with Rattrap’s loyalty thrown abruptly into question, is one we’ve seen a hundred times before on a hundred other shows, but its moments of unexpected humor and intrigue save it from being the tedious filler of other episodes. Also Terrorsaur proves yet again that he will never be the iconic turncoat that Starscream was.
“A Better Mousetrap” (season 1, episode 9)
An episode of debatable necessity. Its introduction of Sentinel, the Maximals’ shipboard defense program, is essential, but the surrounding plot of Rattrap being forced to outsmart the security system that he programmed while the Predacons carry out some madcap scheme involving a bomb is apropos of nothing. Recommended for the sake of story inclusivity.
“The Spark” (season 1, episode 15)
This episode ratchets up the tension from “Fallen Comrades,” pitting Rhinox and Cheetor against the Predacon forces as they attempt to defend a dying protoform in uncharted territory. In addition to the show’s second female character, this episode also introduces the concept of the “spark,” which is basically the soul of a Transformer. Sparks play an important role throughout the rest of the show, and would go on to appear in almost every post-Beast Wars iteration of Transformers lore, including the loathsome Michael Bay movies.
“The Trigger” (season 1, episodes 16 & 17)
This two-part mytharc episode pits a stranded Tigatron and Airazor against Predacon soldiers Blackarachnia and Scorponok for control of an alien superweapon. Rhinox uncovers a mystery whose meaning won’t become apparent until the season finale, and the Transformers’ choice of violence over harmony is directly responsible for the direction of the first season’s concluding arc. A somewhat trite retelling of man’s expulsion from paradise, “The Trigger” is most notable for its development of Airazor and Tigatron’s relationship and advancing the alien architects subplot.
“Spider’s Game” (season 1, episode 18)
The introduction of sadistic pyromaniac Inferno, season one’s final addition to the main cast. Even more important, however, is this episode’s development of Predacon “mad scientist” Tarantulas. Largely a bit player until this point, Tarantulas finally starts coming into his own as a rogue agent with private schemes and ambitions that do not align with Megatron’s. We also see the beginning of his dysfunctional relationship with Blackarachnia.
“Before the Storm” (season 1, episode 24)
When the Predacons discover evidence of impending alien activity, Megatron calls a truce to the Beast Wars to prepare for their encounter. The Maximals must infiltrate the Predacon base and find out what Megatron knows, but without breaking the precarious ceasefire. Mostly setup for the finale, this episode marks the show’s shift from season one’s disconnected standalone episodes to the tightly woven, story-driven structure that would dominate the much shorter second and third seasons.
“Other Voices” (season 1, episodes 25 & 26)
In this two-part season finale, the unseen alien architects finally make themselves known to the Transformers in a big way: by trying to blow up the planet. The Maximals and Predacons must ally with one another if they’re going to survive, but in the face of Megatron’s ambition, even the power of these otherworldly beings is just a temporary inconvenience. Almost every character gets a chance to shine here, with many divergent subplots running concurrently. Through it all there are wheels within wheels, alliances and betrayals and string-pulling, and when the final puppet master is revealed, not every character will make it to the cliffhanger alive.
“Aftermath” (season 2, episode 1)
The season two premiere introduces the concept of Transmetals, beginning the subtle theme of a technological arms race as certain Maximals and Predacons are upgraded to become more and more powerful. The Transformers must come to grips with the altered state of the Beast Wars in the wake of season one’s explosive finale, and Tarantulas and Blackarachnia’s relationship takes on a new twist.
“Coming of the Fuzors” (season 2, episodes 2 & 3)
This two-part episode sees the addition of two new characters to the main cast and finalizes the setup of the show’s new status quo moving forward. The tense final moments of part one, as the vastly outnumbered Rattrap, Dinobot, and Cheetor prepare for a hopeless last stand against the combined Predacon forces, remain one of the show’s highlights. Dinobot’s character arc for the rest of the season also kicks off in a very cool and unexpected way, an arc that will mark him as the most nuanced and interesting character in Transformers canon.
“Tangled Web” (season 2, episode 4)
The Tarantulas/Blackarachnia subplot, which has had a distinct undercurrent of domestic abuse for some time now, comes to a head in this episode. When Megatron dispatches Tarantulas, Blackarachnia, and Quickstrike to secure a newly discovered Energon deposit, Tarantulas decides that the time has come to strike out on his own for good, and he insists that Blackarachnia come with him. Driven to the brink of suicide by Tarantulas’s domination, Blackarachnia is forced to choose between taking a stand against her abuser or remaining his victim forever.
“Maximal, No More” (season 2, episode 5)
When captured by the Predacons, Dinobot decides to betray his friends and return to Megatron’s service. Although he initially intends this only as a ruse, he comes to find that he likes being back among his own kind. In this pivotal chapter of his character arc, Dinobot must wrestle with the insecurities and temptations that have hounded him this season and decide not only where he belongs, but who he truly is.
“Other Visits” (season 2, episodes 6 & 7)
The mysterious alien architects finally make their return, unleashing yet another superweapon against the Transformers, but this time Tarantulas and Megatron have plans of their own to defeat them. Once more the Maximals and Predacons must work together against a common foe, but when the double-cross comes this time, it leaves Megatron in control of technology that will change the shape of the Beast Wars. When the dust finally clears, some long-standing characters have been lost forever.
“Bad Spark” (season 2, episode 8)
The introduction of Rampage, one of the darkest characters in Transformers lore. A convicted mass murderer and sadist, Rampage reads as unremarkably flat on paper, but his characterization betrays, at odd moments, hints of an unrealized humanity. Also the beginning of Silverbolt and Blackarachnia’s bad romance.
“Code of Hero” (season 2, episode 9)
Transformers proves that it can occasionally be art.
“The Agenda” (season 2, episodes 11, 12, & 13)
The show’s only three-part episode is also one of its best. The Predacon government sends an assassin to dispose of Megatron, forcing him to at last put into motion the master plan that the entire season has been building toward. At stake this time is the fate of not just the Maximals or even the world, but the universe itself. This episode brings into play several elements from the G1 cartoon, including a major role for one of that show’s classic characters, and firmly cements the G1 mythology Beast Wars will follow for the remainder of its run.
“Optimal Situation” (season 3, episode 1)
The series undergoes a permanent change in setting and stakes as things are taken away from the Maximals that they have relied on since the pilot. Beast Wars’ third season is its darkest, as characters are changed against their will, relationships are broken and reforged, and Megatron has our heroes on the back foot from beginning to end.
“Deep Metal” (season 3, episode 2)
The introduction of Depth Charge, a badass lone wolf with a vendetta against Rampage and nothing nice to say about his fellow Maximals.
“Changing of the Guard” (season 3, episode 3)
The Maximals attempting to salvage their dire situation with the help of Sentinel, but Megatron has his own plans for the automated security program.
“Cutting Edge” (season 3, episode 4)
Mostly setup for the following two-parter, this episode establishes Transmetal 2 technology, Cheetor’s hormonal rebelliousness, and Blackarachnia’s third-season character arc.
“Feral Scream” (season 3, episodes 5 & 6)
“Feral Scream” (season 3, episodes 5 & 6)
Transmetal 2 technology enters the Beast Wars, forever changing two characters in drastically different ways.
“Proving Grounds” (season 3, episode 7)
Sick of not being accepted for who she is, Blackarachnia ventures off on her own, and comes to realize things about herself and her friends that she hadn’t before.
“Crossing the Rubicon” (season 3, episode 9)
“Crossing the Rubicon” (season 3, episode 9)
The conclusion of Blackarachnia’s season-three arc.
“Master Blaster” (season 3, episode 10)
Megatron puts his plan to neutralize Optimus Primal into effect, but it has unforeseen consequences for the Predacon leader when Tarantulas finally shows his true colors.
“Other Victories” (season 3, episode 11)
“Other Victories” (season 3, episode 11)
The conclusion of the series-long alien architects story arc.
“Nemesis” (season 3, episodes 12 & 13)
“Nemesis” (season 3, episodes 12 & 13)
After three seasons of quality content, Beast Wars was canceled by Hasbro in order to promote a new Transformers toyline. The creative team attempted to wrap up as many loose ends as possible, and while they weren’t entirely successful, the two-part series finale excels in spite of its artificial limitations. As the Maximals face their darkest hour, every character is pushed to the brink, and many of them, Maximal and Predacon alike, won’t make it to the final scene. This episode rounds out the show’s themes of sacrifice, cyclicity, redemption, suicide, and the price of revenge, and the ending we get is an ending well-deserved.
Other Episode Recommendations:
Other Episode Recommendations:
- “Gorilla Warfare” (season 1, episode 10). The Predacons infect the even-tempered Optimus Primal with a virus that turns him into a violent hothead with a ticking time bomb strapped to his chest. Minor character development for Optimus and Dinobot.
- “Victory” (season 1, episode 12). The Predacons are seemingly destroyed in an explosion, leaving the Maximals the apparent victors of the Beast Wars. Dinobot must come to terms with his identity as a warrior with no war to fight in.
- “Dark Designs” (season 1, episode 13). Rhinox is reprogrammed by the Predacons, but they discover that turning his intellect to evil may not work out for them the way they’d hoped. An interesting look at another side of Rhinox’s personality.
- “Possession” (season 1, episode 21). Absolute must-watch episode, just one with no effect on the ongoing story. G1 Decepticon Starscream returns to life in Waspinator’s body and proceeds to make everyone’s lives a living hell. Again.
- “The Low Road” (season 1, episode 22). The series’ only overtly comedic episode, and worth watching for that reason alone. Also the only episode to feature a farting rhinoceros.
- “Law of the Jungle” (season 1, episode 23). After a wild tiger is caught in the crossfire of the Beast Wars, Tigatron vows to fight no more forever, and Dinobot takes it upon himself to drag him back into the fray. Not a great episode, but it comes through with some much-needed development for Tigatron, as well as Dinobot’s views on the potential scope of the Beast Wars and why Megatron needs to be opposed.
- “Transmutate” (season 2, episode 10). Rampage befriends a deformed, brain-damaged protoform with advanced powers. I sure do love episodes of children’s cartoons that deal with themes of euthanasia and feature a cannibalistic serial killer as the most sympathetic character. Classic ’90s!
Beast Wars used be available on Netflix streaming, but now it’s not! You can get the complete series on DVD from Shout! Factory, however.
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