Queen in Disguise
Author: Monica Kulling
Illustrator: John Alvin
Medium: Picture book
Publication Date: March 2000
Timeline Placement: 32 BBY
Queen in Disguise takes place during the latter chapters of James Luceno's Cloak of Deception, the political thriller lead-in to the events of The Phantom Menace. King Veruna of Naboo has already abdicated the throne and Padmé Naberrie has been "elected" to succeed him as Queen Amidala. Captain Panaka pitches her the idea of disguising herself as a handmaiden whenever she's in danger, while Keira Knightley body-doubles as the queen. Padmé doesn't like the idea of having these teenage girls put their lives on the line for her, but Panaka assures her that the handmaidens are well trained in defensive techniques. Padmé wants to receive the same training so Panaka introduces her to the others as a new handmaiden, and the girls have no idea that she's really the queen.
Amidala's real identity is something that always felt like a half-baked idea that George Lucas never really thought through or cared very much about beyond the initial concept of revealing that the lowly servant girl baby Anakin had been crushing on was really royalty all along. What a twist! In The Phantom Menace she's exclusively referred to as "Queen Amidala," only going by "Padmé Naberrie" when in her handmaiden guise. I, along with most Episode I tie-ins apparently (check out that cover branding!), assumed that Amidala was her real name and Padmé Naberrie was just a fictitious alias she used when in her handmaiden persona. But then Attack of the Clones came out and now she was a Senator named Padmé Amidala. What.
So I guess Padmé Naberrie was her birth name, and she took the regnal name Amidala upon becoming queen, then after leaving the throne her legal name became Padmé Amidala, right? But she was democratically elected by the citizens of Naboo, because George Lucas doesn't know what a monarchy is, so wouldn't she have been a public figure before becoming queen? How is her handmaiden disguise supposed to work if she uses her real name and doesn't conceal her face? Good luck for her that the whole masquerade subplot only mattered as an excuse to have her go on the mission to Mos Espa and never actually did anything to save her life, I suppose.
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| Wait, Amidala's just a Senator, right? Why does she still have a decoy protecting her? |
Anyway the point is that none of the handmaidens recognize Padmé by name or by appearance, despite her having just been elected ruler of their planet. But I can't blame the book for that, none of this never made no sense from the minute old George came up with it.
So Padmé watches Panaka put the handmaidens through their paces, running obstacle courses and scaling walls like they're in Full Metal Jacket. Eventually they're beset by training droids that fire stun blasts at them. They're supposed to deactivate when the handmaidens shoot them back, but one droid has a mind of its own! It tanks multiple shots from Rabé's training laser, because Panaka doesn't trust the girls to handle real firearms, and keeps coming after her, zapping her with painful but non-debilitating stun blasts. Rabé hides behind a waterfall but Panaka is off shooting up behind a tree somewhere so it's up to Padmé and Sabé to save the day. Padmé fires her cable gun onto a tree branch and swings across a ravine, kicking the droid into the falls where it crashes into a rock and is destroyed, a huge waste of taxpayer space dollars.
Rabé has twisted her ankle so Padmé has to carry her back down to the ground. Panaka has reappeared and tells Padmé what a brave queen she is. The handmaidens are shocked but delighted to know that their employer is also a loyal friend.
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| She's lost the will to [read YA tie-in fiction]. |
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