Legacy

 

Writers: Jesse Wittenrich & Greg Black

Publication date: October 8, 2015

Legacy is a one-page comic included with the 2015 BotCon Legacy Collection of convention-exclusive toys that didn't sell well enough the previous year. It's really just a very brief vignette, with no plot, spoken dialogue, or character action or interaction. Five art panels and a series of text boxes communicate Shokaract's inner monologue as he muses over his vague personal history and reveals that he is now on his way back to Cybertron as a conqueror. "I return prepared, ready to complete my conquest. You, Cybertron. You are not prepared..." 

Not sure exactly what his plan is because the entirety of his forces seems to just be the Star Seeker pirates, and it's not even clear if they're actually working for him. He just says that he has "used them." The panel featuring them acknowledges their intervening adventures, which were told exclusively through a series of posts on the "Tornado - Decepticon Saboteur" Facebook page. Captain Cannonball led his crew on a mission to recover Starscream's immortal spark, only to have his spark switched with Starscream's and his body reformatted into a Starscream redeco. Following his disembodiment, Flamewar took over as captain. That's interesting, but I sure don't care!

So maybe this version of Shokaract will again become the mighty warlord he was in the unmade future timeline from Reaching the Omega Point. We'll never find out, because this is chronologically the last story set in the Wings Universe and the last time we'll ever see any of these characters. Which is kind of a shame, as I liked Alpha Trizer and the Cybertronian Knights and would have been interested in further stories featuring them, as well as a version of the Shokaract story that could unfold at its own pace without ruining or being limited by Beast Wars continuity. But oh well, that's the end.

The Grand Unified Beast Wars Timeline

 

So where does that leave our fruitless effort to coalesce all Beast Wars tie-in media into a single, unified chronology? Well, I gave up on that around the time Simon Furman reused so many of the same characters in incompatible ways in Primeval Dawn (3H continuity) and The Gathering (IDW continuity). Prior to that, the discrepancies were minor enough that you could wallpaper over them without much headcanon. The two different resurrections of Ravage were a bridge too far for me, though. You could invent a story explaining it (and all the other redundant characters in those two stories) away, but Hasbro ain't paying me to do that for them.

Nevertheless, here is a color-coded timeline incorporating all the Transformers stories that share continuity with the Beast Wars and Beast Machines cartoons in chronological order, regardless of their continuity with each other. Having read all of these stories in this order, I'm sad to say I can't recommend it. It didn't have a deleterious effect on my opinion of the stories, most of which wouldn't have been very good regardless of reading order, but the fact that they just don't fit together, especially the 3H and IDW universes, eventually became more of a distraction than a fun challenge.

If you were to read these stories, my suggestion would be to limit yourself to the 3H and IDW continuities, Hoist the Flag, and the Beast Wars short stories in the Transformers Legends anthology, without intermingling their respective timelines. 3H is the most expansive, but also potentially the least satisfying because of its myriad of dangling plot threads and unresolved story arcs. IDW is self-contained, but also pointless. The handful of Dreamwave stories and single TransTech comic can all be skipped.

Really the ultimate takeaway here is that the original Beast Wars cartoon was so good that it didn't need any sequels, prequels, mid-quels, tie-ins, spinoffs, follow-ups, or expansions. All of those things had the potential to be done well, but none was ever able to quite measure up.

3H Productions and Fun Publications

IDW Publishing

Dreamwave Productions

TransTech continuity

Wings continuity

Unicron Trilogy continuity

Fits any continuity

 

1984–1985

* The Transformers Seasons 1–2

 

2005

* The Transformers: The Movie

2006–2007

* The Transformers Seasons 3–4 

 

2035

* Three Dinosaurs (events described in Hot Rod's interviews)

* Dawn of the Predacus

* Three Dinosaurs (Hot Rod's interviews)

c. 2030s–2200s

* Tornado - Decepticon Saboteur, March 18 – June 3 entries

* Beast Wars II

* Beast Wars Neo

2219

* Descent Into Evil

* Intimidation Game

c. 2200s

* The Razor's Edge (chapters 1–9)

2319 or 2335

* Theft of the Golden Disk

* More Than Meets the Eye #1 (prologue), #8 (epilogue)

* Dawn of Future's Past (retroactively added to both Wings and IDW continuities)

[~~~time travel shenanigans ensue~~~]

 

180,000 or 70,000 BC

* Beast Wars Season 1

• "Beast Wars, Parts 1–2"
• "The Web"
• "Equal Measures"
• "Chain of Command"
• "Power Surge"
• "Fallen Comrades"
• "Double Jeopardy"
• "A Better Mousetrap"
• "Gorilla Warfare"
• "The Probe"
• "Victory"
• "Dark Designs"
• "Double Dinobot"
• "The Spark"
• The Razor's Edge (prologue and epilogue take place two weeks after "The Spark")
  
• "The Trigger, Parts 1–2"
• "Spider's Game"
• Ground Zero (takes place between "Spider's Game" and "Before the Storm")
  
• "Call of the Wild"
• "Dark Voyage"
• "Possession"
• "The Low Road"
• "Law of the Jungle"
• "Before the Storm"
• "Other Voices, Parts 1–2"

* Beast Wars Season 2

• "Aftermath"
• "Coming of the Fuzors, Parts 1–2"
• "Tangled Web"
• "Maximal, No More"
• "Other Visits, Parts 1–2"
• Apelinq's War Journal 15
  
• Reaching the Omega Point Prologue: Visitations
• Reaching the Omega Point Prologue: Herald 
• Apelinq's War Journals 16–17
• "Bad Spark"
• "Code of Hero"
• "Transmutate"
• "The Agenda, Parts 1–3"
• Reaching the Omega Point Part 1: Covenant (takes place in the present but is trans-temporally affected by events in "The Agenda, Part 3")
  

* Beast Wars Season 3

• "Optimal Situation"
• "Deep Metal"
• "Changing of the Guard"
• The Gathering (takes place during "Changing of the Guard")
  
• "Cutting Edge"
• "Feral Scream, Parts 1–2"
• "Proving Grounds"
• "Go With the Flow"
• "Crossing the Rubicon"
• "Master Blaster"
• The Gathering (epilogue)
• Reaching the Omega Point Part 2: Schism
• "A Meeting of Minds"
• Reaching the Omega Point Part 3: Paradox
• Apelinq's War Journals 18–20
• Reaching the Omega Point Finale: Terminus
• "Other Victories"
• "Nemesis, Parts 1–2"
• "A Meeting of Minds" (final scene takes place at the end of "Nemesis, Part 2")
  
• The Ascending
  
• Ain't No Rat
• Shell Game 
• Collections
  
• Primeval Dawn 
  

 

[~~~end of time travel shenanigans~~~]

 

2321

* The Ascending (epilogue)

* Three Dinosaurs (frame story)

* Apelinq's War Journals 1–14

* Beast Machines Season 1

• "The Reformatting"
• "Master of the House"
• "Fires of the Past"
• "Mercenary Pursuits"
• "Forbidden Fruit"
• "The Weak Component"
• "Revelations, Part I: Discovery"
• "Revelations, Part II: Descent"
• "Revelations, Part III: Apocalypse!"
• "Survivor"
• "The Key"
• "The Catalyst" 
• "End of the Line"   
• "Prime Spark" (crossover with Unicron Trilogy universe)

* Beast Machines Season 2

• "Fallout"
• "Savage Noble"
• "Prometheus Unbound"
• "In Darkest Knight"
• "A Wolf in the Fold"
• "Home Soil"
• The Wreckers Part 1: Departure (takes place between "Prometheus Unbound" and "The Strike")
  
• "Sparkwar, Part I: The Strike"
• "Sparkwar, Part II: The Search"
• "Sparkwar, Part III: The Siege"
• "Spark of Darkness"
• "Singularity Ablyss" (takes place during "Spark of Darkness")
  
• "Endgame, Part I: The Downward Spiral"
• "Endgame, Part II: When Legends Fall"
• "Endgame, Part III: Seeds of the Future"
• The Wreckers Part 2: Betrayal
• The Wreckers Part 3: Disclosure
  
• The Wreckers Part 4: Renewal
• The Wreckers Finale 
  

 

2322 

* Transformers: Universe #1: Abduction

* Voice Actor Drama (2003)

* Transformers: Universe #2: Escape

* Transformers: Universe #3: Homecoming

* Voice Actor Drama (2004) + Transformers: Universe #½

* Revelations Part 2 (Universe War flashback)

 

c. 2371–2421

* Dawn of Future's Past (epilogue)

2984

* Tornado - Decepticon Saboteur, June 18–24 entries

* Hoist the Flag

* Tornado - Decepticon Saboteur, June 30 – January 7 entries

* Legacy  

 

THE BEAST WARS ARE OVER...FOR NOW.

Hoist the Flag

 

Writer: Jesse Wittenrich

Publication date: June 19, 2014

Hoist the Flag is a one-shot set in the so-called Wings Universe, an alternate G1 continuity developed in BotCon comics by Fun Publications from 2009 to 2015. I haven't read any of those and don't know anything about them; the reason this story is on our list is because where's there's an alternate G1, there's the potential for an alternate Beast Wars.

Hoist the Flag sees the Transformers pirates known as the Star Seekers traveling into the far future after a malfunction with their transwarp engines. Captain Cannonball decides that they'll perform the greatest heist of all time: using Unicron's disembodied head, still in orbit around Cybertron, to suck up all the Energon on the planet. They'll then escape back to their own time and live like kings, leaving their planet's depleted natural resources for future generations to deal with. It's like a metaphor for climate change!

The Star Seekers are a motley crew, and I have no idea if any of them are established characters from other Wings stories or if they're being introduced here for the first time. But besides Cannonball, other notable members of the crew include the G1 Scorponok and his Headmaster, Zarak; a purple troll guy named Squirm, who is not even a Transformer; and a giant dude named Hunter who communicates only in guttural roars and growls and bears a striking resemblance to the Beast Wars Predacon Rampage. 

 

They travel first to the Galadria Space Bridge Outpost in the Delta Prysmos Sector to use the space bridge there to transport themselves into Unicron's head. However, they find that the outpost has already been infiltrated by wanted criminal Flamewar, who we previously met in multiple G1-era stories but is apparently native to the post-Beast Machines era in this universe. She's also drawn a lot, hm, differently.

Hel-LO nursebot.

Captain Cannonball hires her and she joins the crew.

Meanwhile, on Cyberion, the fourth moon of Cybertron, we're introduced to two members of the Cybertronian Knights: Apelinq, a version of whom we've met before, and Flare-Up, who—

Oh, come on now.

Who's drawing this issue, the guy who did that manga with the female Autobots in fetish outfits? Oh it is.

Sigh... Ctrl+D

Anyway, Apelinq receives a call from Ginrai, known as God Ginrai in the Super-God Masterforce anime. Here, though, he's second in command to the supreme leader of the Cybertronian Knights, the venerable Alpha Trizer. Ginrai is irate because Knight Devcon's final transmission from the Galadria Space Bridge Outpost was cut off and he hasn't been in contact since. Alpha Trizer counsels patience, but the four Knights of Cyberion end up farcasting to the Delta Prysmos Sector anyway.

Devcon has tracked the Star Seekers to Unicron's head, but he's attacked by the nonverbal Hunter, who tackles him to the ground before being distracted by something and wandering away. Scorponok is going to finish Devcon off, but at that moment Alpha Trizer, Ginrai, Apelinq, and Flare-Up arrive and a huge battle ensues, complete with lesbian-bait robot flirtation.

Captain Cannonball fights the elderly Alpha Trizer, who, in a genuinely cool and surprising twist, reveals that he was once Cheetor! After the death of Optimus Primal, he plumbed the depths of the Oracle, eventually absorbing the wisdom of Alpha Trion and becoming Alpha Trizer, the leader of Cybertron in its era of ultimate peace. See, writers of The Wreckers, that's a good use of Cheetor in a post-Beast Machines story.

Captain Cannonball is like "stfu old man, Imma stab you now," but Alpha Trizer is like "turn around." Captain Cannonball looks over at his crew, who report in confusion that their plan isn't working. Unicron's head is not absorbing any Energon from Cybertron! Alpha Trizer explains that it's the year 2984, an even thousand years after the beginning of the G1 cartoon, and Cybertron is made out of techno-organic matter now; the pirates' scheme was doomed to failure from the beginning. Ginrai asks why he didn't mention this earlier, why they even bothered getting involved at all if the planet was never in any danger. "Are you kidding me?" asks Alpha Cheetor. "I couldn't miss that look on [Cannonball's] face."

Meanwhile we're treated to a few panels where Devcon has Flamewar tied up and slung ass-up over his shoulder and hoo boy, I've gotta stop reading this comic book. 

EPILOGUE:

The same time, the same place. The Hunter wanders alone through the skull of a dead god. Speechless, mindless, purposeless, he is drawn on by some invisible force he cannot identify: some part of himself that has been missing his whole life, some forgotten memory of who he was supposed to be. Before him, a portal appears, a doorway shimmering in midair. He stumbles through it into a cave; from inside, he hears a voice, promising him all the dark desires of his embittered heart.

 

"Shokaract..." he says, filled with divine light and terrible purpose. "Omega Point..."

He lifts the Matrix of Conquest high over his head, and he remembers.

Revelations

 

Writer: Forest Lee

Publication dates: February/March – April/May 2006

Although Fun Publications maintained the license to publish official Transformers tie-in fiction until 2016, the canceled Universe comic and Dawn of Future's Past epilogue marked the end of their continuing advancement of the post-Beast Machines timeline. Universe #3 ended on a cliffhanger, with no resolution to its primary storyline: the resurrected Optimus Primal's quest to stop Unicron from abducting Transformers from across the multiverse and using their sparks to power his return.

That resolution came in the form of a two-panel flashback in the second chapter of Revelations, a serialized comic set in the Unicron Trilogy continuity (Transformers: Armada, Transformers: Energon, and Transformers: Cybertron) and published in issues seven through twelve of Hasbro Transformers Collectors' Club.  

 

Revelations is the second story arc in this magazine, following Balancing Act in issues one through six. I didn't read Balancing Act and I've never watched Armada, Energon, or Cybertron, so I was completely lost reading the first two chapters of Revelations. I recognized Sentinel Maximus from the end of The Wreckers and Omega Prime from the end of Universe, but that was it; when it came to the characters I assume were native to this universe, I had no idea who any of them were or what they were trying to do. I suppose that's my own fault or skipping the source material, but I just wanted to know what happened to the Beast Wars characters.

Well, here it is:

 

They were fighting Unicron, and then Unicron randomly vanished, and Omega Prime ended up here in the Unicron Trilogy universe with no clue as to what happened to Optimus Primal and the others. That's it. That's all you get.

 

Oh.

 

Voice Actor Drama (2004) and Universe #½

 

Writer: Simon Furman

Performance date: July 31, 2004

 

"It never ends." — Simon Furman, Transformers tie-in writer

Rhinox has completed that orbital device that Primus brought him back from the grave specifically to work on. Its function is to disrupt Unicron's trans-dimensional tractor beams so he is unable to teleport more Transformers from other times and other universes to serve in his dark army or whatever. Its first trial is only partially successful, and ends with the alternate-universe Transformers from Unicron's latest abduction attempt being stranded on a distant icy planetoid. Rattrap, Silverbolt, and Waspinator, for some reason, go to retrieve them. I assume Waspinator is still in his miniature Thrust-headed wasp body from the end of Beast Machines, as he briefly appeared in that form during The Wreckers: Finale Part II.

At the same time (or should I say, in another time!), a spacetime vortex opens in the G1 era, pulling an Autobot shuttle transporting Bumblebee, Cosmos, and Tracks to that same frozen planetoid during the time of the Universe War. It's later revealed that this was caused by Rhinox's jamming pulse, somehow. They detect the distress signal from the stranded alt-universe Transformers below and Bumblebee and Cosmos go down to the planet to investigate, leaving Tracks to save Rattrap and the others when they arrive and come under fire from Unicron's retrieval (or retri-evil) team.

Rattrap, Silverbolt, and Waspinator are all voiced by Scott McNeil, the actor who did their voices in Beast Wars and Beast Machines. He has the stage all to himself for a good chunk of the performance, and it's good fun watching him essentially do a one-man play for several minutes. He also did the voices of Dinobot and Packrat, so it's a shame that Simon Furman couldn't contrive an excuse to bring in alternate versions of them and deal Scott McNeil five of a kind.

Tracks and the new arrivals go down to the planet, where they help the other Autobots fight off Unicron's forces, who are being led by ever-popular breakout character Reptilion. They defeat the bad guys, and Rhinox sends another pulse to reopen the vortex and send the Bumblebee and the others back to their time, now armed with knowledge of Unicron that they weren't supposed to have until the events of The Transformers: The Movie. No one is too worried about that temporal discrepancy, though, because in the very first scene Tracks was already complaining about Headmasters, Powermasters, Targetmasters, Micromasters, etc., none of whom was introduced in G1 cartoon continuity until after the movie. Whoops!

This one is okay. Not as funny as some of the other script readings, but it has the best soundtrack, courtesy of Vince DiCola promoting his new CD. At one point Rattrap plugs a forthcoming Transformers: Universe issue #½, which was never actually made, but a very short outline can be found online. It basically just retells the script reading with a few new scenes for additional context, including a new epilogue. With their ship destroyed in battle and Bumblebee's shuttle returned to its correct time, the Maximals and Autobots remain stranded on the ice planet until Cybertron sends them a new ride, "as Waspinator puts it... 'freezing my pointy butt off'. Silverbolt concludes: the jamming pulse needs a LOT more work..." Cut and print, that's a wrap on 3H Productions.

Homecoming

 

Writer: Simon Furman

Publication date: August 6, 2004

Well, all good things must come to an end. I don't mean the Universe comic, or the 3H timeline, or even post-Beast Machines fiction in general. No, Transformers: Universe #3: Homecoming marks the end of our recent run of not completely terrible Beast Wars tie-ins. Because this issue is a big ol' belly flop. Let's get through it as quickly as possible.

 

Optimus Primal bursts into the Maximal High Council chambers on Cybertron. In attendance is Magnaboss in his combined form, as well as some other guys. "The Dark God has returned!" Optimus bellows, then recaps the story so far, how Unicron has been pulling Transformers from throughout space, time, and realities and corrupting them to his side, while Optimus Primal was resurrected by Primus himself to stop him. 

Seems like business as usual for this universe, really, but Magnaboss is like "nah." Optimus is like "what?" Magnaboss is like "nah, fam, I don't believe you." Optimus is like "huh." Magnaboss is like "I see God as more of a metaphor, man. Also you're under arrest." Guards drag Optimus Primal away while the High Council votes on forming a committee to delegate a task force to investigate the possible existence of God and whether or not Primal's resurrection constitutes a violation of the separation of church and state.

 

While Optimus is under house arrest, his longtime friends discuss how he's crazy and untrustworthy. "All I'm saying, Rattrap, is being dead may have changed him... that's all," argues Cheetor intelligently. "I know as well as you how much we owe Optimus—now and then."

"I too have misgivings, Cheetor," agrees Silverbolt, who Optimus Primal just saved from Unicron in the previous issue. "Even if this really is the Optimus Primal whom we once fought alongside... can we really trust him? The rescue, the breakout, it could all be an elaborate ploy to make us take him into our confidence."

 

Only Rattrap (because Nightscream and Botanica are completely absent from this story because [reasons], remember) takes Optimus's side, but he can't do that without mentioning how unusual that fact is because Optimus usually sucks. "Ya know me, I was never a Big-Bot booster, but this time... I'm with him to the bitter end!"

 

Remember that Optimus Primal gave his life to save Cybertron and the entirety of the Transformers race, then he somehow came back from the dead and immediately risked his life to save a bunch of people who were supernaturally abducted in front of thousands of witnesses. But I'm sure he's just making it up.

 

This is all so absurd and contrived it's not even annoying. It's too ridiculous to take seriously as something that's actually happening in a story; your brain just rejects its narrative reality.

Primus and Alpha Trion dispatch Snarl, who has been a somewhat prominent secondary character ever since the canceled fourth issue of The Wreckers even though I'm still not sure who he is or why he's important, to spring Optimus, but after he bursts into the room to free him, Primus just opens a portal that leads Optimus directly to where Alpha Trion is hanging out with Primus's disembodied head. So really sending Snarl did nothing at all.

Alpha Trion babbles on about how they're going to create an "underground railroad," which he describes as "a special unit designed to infiltrate and gather intelligence firsthand." Um, that's not what an underground railroad is...

They're also building a cloaked orbital platform to guard the planet. Alpha Trion says that its construction is already underway, but has hit "practical and logistical snags." Who is building this thing, exactly? Alpha Trion, and now apparently Snarl, are the only people we ever see working for Primus; the Maximal council seems to not even believe that he exists. Is it just Alpha Trion floating around up in space with a hammer, and the "logistical snag" is that he ran out of nails?

In any event, these two projects are proving too tough for Alpha Trion and Literally God to manage, so they've brought in Optimus Primal. Not to actually work on either of these tasks, however, but to make the executive decision on who else they should get to do it. These guys are useless! If I lived in a universe where God and His Chosen Prophet were demonstrably real yet this inept, I'd become an atheist too.

Optimus Primal asks if he's allowed to pick people who are dead. Alpha Trion says yes but it takes a lot of "resources" to bring people back to life so it would be better if he picked one of the thousands of Transformers characters who are alive in this or some other universe. Optimus Primal ignores this and tells him to resurrect Rhinox and Depth Charge, who in the entire multiverse are clearly the people best suited to building a space station and running the CIA.

Remember that Megatron obliterated Rhinox's spark in "Singularity Ablyss," but Primus is all-powerful so he can retcon that. Depth Charge gets a red redeco design, but Rhinox comes back to life in the same body he had all throughout Beast Wars. He had a Transmetal toy they could have used, but for some reason he's never allowed to get an updated form, even in this crappy tie-in comic. 

Rhinox is glad for the chance to redeem himself for the evil he did as Megatron's brainwashed Vehicon general Tankor, but Depth Charge is pissed. "My life was a relentless, numbing succession of battles and vendettas, each one another livid, raw scar on my immortal spark. I became something, someone I no longer recognized... or liked. I pursued my ultimate nemesis to the far reaches of space and time, and finally—finally—it all ended. I was at peace. Until you pulled me out... pulled me back in."

Earlier in the issue, when Optimus was addressing the Maximal council, he said, "As Unicron has gathered his raw materials—plucked from myriad realities and timelines—so I was called forth from glorious oblivion." I know that this is just a stupid crappy promotional tie-in comic that no one read but I find it genuinely disturbing how multiple characters talk about how much preferable death is to having to do things. I get enough of that attitude from my own brain, I don't need to read it in a Transformers comic.

 

Meanwhile, Tarantulas sends Blackarachnia and a group of Piranacons to infiltrate Cybertron and assassinate Alpha Trion, thereby cutting off Primus from the Transformers. Isn't that like trying to stop Zordon from communicating with the Power Rangers by killing Alpha 5? Primus is a head in a tube, what does he need Alpha Trion for?

Rattrap has gone to blow off steam by shooting at the scenery. He's in beast mode for some reason and looks suitably comical firing his gun with little rat fingers. By cosmic coincidence (or maybe it's the will of the Force), he just so happens to run into Blackarachnia, and she zaps him with her electro-web. She's about to finish him off when the coincidence multiplies and Depth Charge also happens to stumble across this scene at this exact moment, having walked out on Optimus and Primus in irritation at being given a second chance at life.

"Though I abhor the use of violence—" he says to Blackarachnia, "—neither can I sanction brutal execution. If you cannot be at peace, you do not belong here. Please... just go!" Yeah that really sounds just like him.

"Raw Energon! Right through your twisted spark! Take it! Take it straight to the Pit, you sickening piece of slag!" #picturesyoucanhear

 

Simon Furman has his talents, but character voice is not one of them. Almost every character he writes sounds like the same character. And that character is Simon Furman.

 

Depth Charge punches Blackarachnia in the face, because he hates all violence except for coldcocking women. "You!" Rattrap ejaculates. "But— Man, it's gettin' so even being dead's just a slight inconvenience." If you lampshade your own bad writing, is it still bad? (Yes.)

Rattrap tells Depth Charge he has to stop Blackarachnia's evil plan. Depth Charge is like "I don't wanna." Then Rattrap passes out so Depth Charge has to go stop Blackarachnia's evil plan. He swims into the Sea of Rust, where he encounters her army of Piranacons. Meanwhile, Alpha Trion opens another portal and brings forth Omega Prime from the 2001 Robots in Disguise cartoon. Oh that's the end.

TO BE CONTINUED... except not.

Escape

 

Writer: Simon Furman

Publication date: July 31, 2004

 

Surprise, surprise, I kind of liked Escape! I know, I was as shocked as anyone. Specifically, I liked the first and last pages, and then everything that happened in between wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened. The worst thing that's ever happened is The Wreckers.

"They tell me I died," says Optimus Primal's internal monologue, as he recalls his and Megatron's deaths at the end of Beast Machines. "That should have been the end. That should have been enough! But no. It never ends. And now I can't help but feel that death... would have been a mercy!" Very Buffy Season 6.

Alpha Trion sends Optimus to where Unicron is hiding while he rebuilds his strength, "between dimensions—a part of none, in touch with all." Although he was resurrected in his original Season 1 Beast Wars body, when Optimus arrives inside Unicron he has been hideously recolored brown, green, red, and yellow. We then pick up from where we left him with Grimlock and Armada Megatron at the end of the previous story. Optimus sneaks into the Cauldron to free the imprisoned Transformers while his friends stand guard and immediately get into a fight with Reptilion, Tankor, and Obsidian.

Meanwhile, Trailbreaker and Purple Silverbolt are trapped in jail but decide that they can escape from their cells if they switch bodies with each other, so they reach through the laser bars and hold hands and this allows them to swap souls and then they can just walk through the laser bars (what).

 

Purplebolt breaks everyone else out of their cells and they all make a run for it as Optimus Primal fights Razorclaw. Unfortunately, some of the escapees have already been corrupted by the evil presence of Unicron or something, and Shadow Striker, that great and memorable character introduced in the previous issue, turns on the others and blows up the road in front of them with missiles. 

"Primus, hear me—we need the path. In the darkness of pure evil... shine a light!" prays Optimus Primal. This would have been a great time to repeat the "on hold" gag from the script reading but, alas, instead Primus opens a portal in the middle of the lake of lava in front of them. Optimus leaps headfirst through the portal and is teleported away to safety, leaving all the people he was sent to save to their fates.

As the others start following Optimus, Blackarachnia tells Purplebolt that she's turned evil again and remorsefully pushes him into the portal. "Blackarachnia, n—OOOO!" he screams. Later, Blackarachnia is taken by Unicron's generals to meet an old familiar face: the resurrected Tarantulas, somehow returned through space and time from where we last saw him in Primeval Dawn! I guess he was able to get that transwarp portal working back on prehistoric Earth? Does he still have the Matrix? And where the fuck is Airazor?

A note about the art: there are three different pencillers credited on this issue and it sure as hell shows. There are bizarre changes in character design from page to page, sometimes panel to panel. Sometimes Blackarachnia has over-designed "mechanical" facial features, sometimes she has a smooth humanoid face. One page has two panels side by side where Silverbolt has his normal head in the first one and then in the second he's morphed into some kind of hairy, demonic beast. It's incredibly distracting. 

 

But I really like the bookending art on the first and last pages. The first page has a close-up panel of Optimus Primal's beast-mode eyes at the top and bottom. The last page mirrors this layout with a close-up of Optimus's eyes, now in robot mode, reflecting the skyline of Cybertron at the top, but the bottom image is replaced with a close-up of Megatron's eyes, wreathed in flame.

"They tell me I died," Optimus repeats. "But if my sacrifice was undone, my spark reclaimed, what consequence for Cybertron itself... and Megatron?" TO BE CONTINUED...

This got me legitimately pumped, I cannot tell a lie. Megatron's back for the Universe War, baby! Will he work with Optimus Primal or against him? What will he make of technorganic Cybertron? What will his stupid redeco body look like? Will he cure Optimus's nihilism by singing "The pain that you feel / You only can heal by living / You have to go on living" to him? I can't wait to find out!

Sadly none of these questions will ever be answered because Megatron doesn't appear in the next issue and 3H Productions lost the Transformers license and went bankrupt shortly afterward. Well, easy come, easy go.

Voice Actor Drama (2003)

 

Writer: Simon Furman

Performance date: July 26, 2003

 

Another tongue-in-cheek, fourth wall-breaking BotCon script reading that is nevertheless in continuity with its associated storyline. This untitled adventure begins shortly after the first issue of Transformers: Universe, and follows G1 Grimlock and Armada Megatron as they materialize in the bowels of Unicron, having been pulled from their native timelines. They fight each other with swords, scored by legendary film composer Vince DiCola via unlicensed use of "The Imperial March." 

 

But it isn't long before Optimus Primal appears, newly resurrected and restored to his original pre-Transmetal Beast Wars body, and brokers peace between the two. He fills them in on what Unicron's up to and how he was sent here to stop him. In doing so, he deliberately conflates Vector Sigma/the Oracle and Primus, treating them like different names for the same being. Is that true, is that right? I was under the impression that they were separate entities.

The three robots agree to work together to save the multiverse, but they are then confronted by Reptilion and Striker, one of the Beast Machines Dinobots who seemed to have been killed in The Wreckers but was really brought here and brainwashed to become evil. These two servants of Unicron order the new arrivals to go fight to the death in the Cauldron, but Megatron and Grimlock tell Optimus to run for it while they hold off the bad guys, because Primus is depending on him to save them all. Once he's gone, Megatron and Grimlock turn tail and run the other way.

Optimus Primal makes his way to the Cauldron, where Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are about to be forced to fight each other to the death. He calls on Primus to give him strength to stop this madness, only to be put on hold. I'm not making this up! Then before Primus can take his call, he's caught by Striker. But Megatron and Grimlock blunder in, having been unable to find their way out, and when Striker turns to attack them they defeat him.

At this point, Grimlock notices Departure writer Glen Hallit sitting in the audience and pointing at his watch, so they wrap it up and end on a cliffhanger. To be continued in Transformers: Universe issue #2: Escape to Witch Mountain.

 

Possibly the best Beast Wars-adjacent fiction Simon Furman has ever written, but the performances of Garry Chalk, David Kaye, and Gregg Berger as the Three Amigos are what really sell it. More comedy than cringe, what a concept!

Abduction

 

Writer: Simon Furman

Publication date: August 23, 2003

 

It's been one year since the end of Beast Machines, and Autobot news reporter Rook is still running around being an anachronism. He's in good company this time, however, as he arrives on the scene to break the story on the latest big scoop. Five G1 Autobot veterans of the Great War are arriving on technorganic Cybertron, having been lost in space for hundreds of years, I guess. You know them, you love them, some of the Transformers franchise's oldest and most iconic characters: Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Trailbreaker, and... Shadow Striker and Roulette, two OC fembots no one has ever heard of. I assume they must be cool, though, based on the company they're keeping.

Cheetor, Rattrap, Silverbolt, and Blackarachnia are some of the first in line to welcome home these long-lost children of Primus. Where are Nightscream and Botanica? They didn't get figures in the toyline this series is promoting so they don't get to show up. 

 

No sooner have the heroes of the Beast Wars and the Spark War introduced themselves to this gaggle of minor characters than the five Autobots, along with Blackarachnia and Silverbolt, are struck by beams of light from the sky and teleported away. "People come and go so strangely here," Rattrap doesn't say with a shrug, winking at the reader.

The seven abductees materialize above a lake of fire. "Welcome... to the PIT!" booms a disembodied voice. "The Pit" was mentioned in the Beast Wars cartoon, seemingly as an analogue to "hell" in profanity. The Transformers afterlife is generally called the Matrix (contextually distinct from the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, first seen in The Transformers: The Movie) or the Allspark, but sometimes the Matrix refers specifically to "Transformers heaven," with the Pit being the term for "Transformers hell." The Razor's Edge used these terms, but in reference to physical production facilities on Cybertron where Autobots/Maximals and Decepticons/Predacons, presumably respectively, were brought online.

In this comic, the Pit doesn't seem to be any of those things, it's just an industrial welding cell. Robotic arms disassemble Silverbolt's reformatted Beast Machines body and put him back together as a purple repaint of his original Fuzor body from Beast Wars. Somehow he takes this a lot better than Blackarachnia, who has just been painted blue and is livid about it. The Autobots experience similarly minuscule changes, except for Trailbreaker who remains exactly the same.

Our heroes are taken to meet who appear to be the head honchos of this place: alternate-universe versions of the Vehicon generals Tankor and Obsidian, an evil alternate-universe version of Tigerhawk named Razorclaw, and Reptilion, a repaint of Transmetal 2 Iguanus. Silverbolt exclaims that all the versions of these characters from his own universe are already dead, even though Obsidian was still alive and well when he last appeared in The Wreckers: Finale. The four horsemen explain that our heroes have been brought here to "the Cauldron" for one purpose: to fight and to die.

The camera pulls back, and we discover that all of this is taking place inside a partially rebuilt Unicron! He's back, baby! For the fifteenth time! And this time, it's personal.

Meanwhile, the silent and inscrutable god of the Transformers, Primus, has become Zordon from Power Rangers and appears as a blue floating head in a tube as he communicates with a reincarnated Alpha Trion. The power of the Enemy is rising! For every Transformer who dies in the Cauldron, Unicron devours their spark, becoming stronger as Primus is reduced. There's only one bot who can save them all now. Primus summons his spark back from the Matrix: "Well..." says Optimus Primal," ...that's just PRIME!"

I can tell already that this isn't going to end well; Simon Furman-scripted promotional comics about obscure redecos rarely do. But this first issue of Universe is so much better than The Wreckers ever was that I'll take it. This is, what, the second time Unicron has returned in 3H/Fun Publications continuity, after possessing Razorwind for 25 seconds in Reaching the Omega Point? Then in IDW continuity he returned in both Beast Wars Neo and The Ascending. Is there any way we can limit Unicron resurrection stories to like one per decade? This Unicron fatigue is making me thirsty.

There's also this motion comic from the Transformers: Universe CD-ROM, which ostensibly describes the backstory for this series but doesn't appear to fit into its continuity at all. Color me shocked!

Finale

 

Writers: Rob Gerbrecht (Part 1) and Greg Sepelak & Trent Troop (Part II)

Publication date: November 30, 2007

 

This final chapter of The Wreckers is also the best chapter of The Wreckers. Is it good in and of itself? No, but how could it be with that clusterfuck of a lead-up? The fact that it exists at all is a minor miracle, as Fun Publications was under no obligation to clean up the mess of Transformers convention canon that 3H left behind when they went bankrupt. The Wreckers: Finale even puts in the effort to right some of the wrongs committed in earlier chapters. It also adds its own peccadilloes to the pile, leaves behind multiple dangling plot threads, and just isn’t particularly well written. But it does give the impression that there was some effort being made and someone put some degree of care into what they were writing, so despite my ultimate indifference to the story it was telling, I didn’t completely hate it.

 

Finale is basically a 35-page-long fight scene: Sentinel Maximus fighting Cryotek, the Wreckers fighting Cyclonus, all of Cybertron fighting the Quintesson invasion. That's okay, but unfortunately most of it isn't very exciting. There are about half a dozen scene transitions marked by an interlude wherein we're introduced to a new Quintesson character who is commanding a group of Sharkticons and encounters a new Transformer or group of Transformers and is killed by them. One such Quintesson is In-Saba Nur, incongruously named after En Sabah Nur (aka Apocalypse, as in Age of) from X-Men. We follow him for about half a page and then he dies. 

 

Galvatron from Beast Wars II briefly shows up here as well, although it's clearly not the same Galvatron from Beast Wars II because he isn't dead. Like Magmatron, they just lifted this character with a very specific backstory and dropped him into a different continuity where that backstory doesn't apply. What's even the point? 

 

There's also a scene where some Quintessons are attacked by a group of un-reformatted Decepticons, all of whom believe themselves to be G1 Thundercracker. Is this supposed to be a reference to something? What's happening?

The Thundercrackers explain that when all the sparks Megatron had stolen were released at the end of Beast Machines, they were immediately drawn to the nearest available Transformer body. This does nothing to explain why their bodies weren't reformatted during the Great Transformation, or why there were random Decepticon bodies lying around in the first place. This particular vignette takes place in an area where "the planet's reformatting does not seem to be complete. This city is wholly technological, but this should not be possible." But they never explain why the city wasn't reformatted. Why even introduce this idea?

Arcee's ability to foresee the deaths of anyone she interacts with, the thing that made her go into seclusion for hundreds of years, is never explained, nor is her sudden loss of that ability. In fact it's never mentioned at all. It's like the writers who took over The Wreckers for the final chapter had no idea where the previous writer was going with that and wisely decided to ditch it.

What does get mentioned is Airazor, but it's completely pointless because even though they go the trouble of bringing her up, they still don't explain what happened to her after Primeval Dawn. When the Beast Machines cast is reunited with Tigatron, Rattrap asks him, "An' hey, speakin' of the dames, if you're here, where's th' bird lady? I even miss the way she'd tell me ta shut up!" And Tigatron just doesn't answer or react at all and the scene just moves on like nothing happened. What the fuck?

 

There's also a scene where Tigatron brings Fractyl out of his coma by striking a deal with the Vok living inside him, that he will set them free in exchange for them using their power to save Fractyl's life. Why are there Vok living inside him? Was this ever established anywhere? The Vok were in Tarantulas. Oh hey whatever happened to Tarantulas anyway? Did they ever get the Matrix back from him? 

Anyway, Tigatron frees the Vok that he was apparently imprisoning, but it has no effect on anything and doesn't matter at all. Al-badur's dark prophecy of Tigatron discovering the true nature of the Vok never comes to pass. The Vok have no impact on anything that happens in the story.

But it's not all bad. Cheetor is fairly well written in this chapter, with his character arc and role as Optimus Primal's successor actually respected in the text. He helps Rodimus drain the power of the Divine Light from Cryotek, something they're able to do because they're both "Matrix Templars," although what that means is never explained.

I liked that the Beast Wars/Beast Machines characters had a presence and role in the story besides just being cameos or getting clowned on to show how cool a new character is. I liked when Rodimus was going to sacrifice himself to land their ship and Skywarp decked him and took his place, like he was being all noble so everyone else could escape, and then he just teleported out of the ship before it crashed and completely deflated his own heroism. I guess I mostly just liked when established characters were written true to character and weren't forced to eat shit.

So Al-badur, the Quintesson member of the Wreckers, betrays the rest of the team by tricking them all into fighting Cryotek on top of a portal he's going to open into "the formless void." Unfortunately the only ones who fall for it are Sentinel Maximus and Cryotek, both of whom are trapped inside of an impregnable force field around the portal. Since they both can fly, they spend an anticlimactically long time just hovering above the open portal, waiting for something to happen.

Meanwhile, Rodimus has his final confrontation with Cyclonus, the epic fight that people have been waiting decades for, apparently. They mortally wound each other and Cyclonus is about to finish him off when Rotorbolt (who did not die!) comes in and shoots Cyclonus in the face.

Rodimus seems like he's done for but he's borne aloft by Botanica's vines into the chamber where everyone else is. He does the thing with Cheetor where they drain the Divine Light, causing Cryotek to shatter it so he's able to hold on to some fraction of its power. Ramulus headbutts Al-badur and he falls through the force field and is drawn into the void, where he disintegrates. Before Ramulus can deactivate the portal, however, Sentinel Maximus and Cryotek pull each other into it and disappear. 

 

Also it's revealed that Icebird and Poison Bite, two of the Mutants who were eaten alive by Sharkticons, survived being eaten alive by Sharkticons. As they revenge themselves on the Quintessons, Icebird's eyes start glowing white and he apparently becomes an avatar of Primus himself for some reason. I Can Always Count On Your Interference To Drive My Children Forward, he tells the Quintessons. And On Your Inability To Learn From Your Mistakes. ... I Will Call Your People To Me Again The Next Time I Have Need Of An Evolutionary Crisis.  

 

What.

Then I guess Icebird and Poison Bite stay on New Quintessa and bring freedom and enlightenment to the Sharkticons or something.

 

While that’s going on, Rodimus dies off-screen when no one's looking. Rattrap just glances over and notices that he passed away at some point between scenes. "It's alright [sic]," Arcee eulogizes him. "He's with Optimus now… with friends who love him and missed him while they were gone. Death… isn't an ending. It's just another change… Change is what we do. And knowing Rodimus… he wouldn't want us to give up hope just because he's no longer with us. I know we'll see him again someday…when all are one."

In the void, Cryotek is floating around in featureless nothingness when Sentinel Maximus floats into view. Cryotek moves to kill him so he can use his energy to escape, but Primus says Sentinel Maximus. You Are Needed, and teleports him away. Cryotek resolves to somehow cause the fragment of the Divine Light left within him to increase in power until he can use it to escape. Good luck, asshole.

Sentinel Maximus finds himself in a semiconscious state where he is visited by the specter of everyone's favorite Silverbolt repaint, Windrazor, who appeared to critical acclaim in Reaching the Omega Point. Windrazor explains that although the future he came from was prevented from ever coming to be, he was saved by author fiat I mean the will of Primus and pulled from the timeline to become a spirit guide in the Allspark. He's on a mission to assist other Matrix Templars (still no explanation of what that is?), but he just wanted to stop by and say hi.

Sentinel Maximus wakes up in Vector Sigma on an alternate version of Cybertron, standing beside Vector Prime and an alternate version of Alpha Trion. "I feel... strange," he says. Me too, buddy. Me too.

Renewal

Writer: Rob Gerbracht

Publication date: September 7, 2007 (unofficial release)

 

The fourth issue of a planned five-issue story arc, Renewal was never published due to 3H Productions losing the Transformers license and going bankrupt, with art for only the first four pages being completed before the issue was canceled. That art was eventually incorporated into The Wreckers: Finale, a prose story by Fun Publications that wrapped up the storyline. The entirety of The Wreckers #4 was never completed or officially published, but the script was made available online and can be assumed to be mostly canonical to the subsequent events of the finale.

If you're forcing yourself to read through this series, though, I'd suggest just skipping it, as the finale includes an abbreviated version of it. But since it exists, let's discuss it.

The issue opens three deca-cycles (usually this would mean three months, but it's established in Finale to be only a week) after the series finale of Beast Machines. Optimus Primal and Megatron are dead, Cybertron has been reborn as a technorganic or techno-organic paradise (whatever that means), and every Transformer on the planet has been reformatted à la the Synthesis ending of Mass Effect 3. 

So it's immediately weird that the first character we're introduced to is an "Autobot journalist" named Rook. Why is there an Autobot anything on contemporary Cybertron? It was always confusing when the Beast Wars prequels we read featured Autobots and Decepticons coexisting with Maximals and Predacons, but that was at least somewhat understandable as a transitional era. But why would there still be active Autobots and Decepticons hundreds of years after the Great Upgrade, when Transformers became physically smaller and more energy-efficient (Megatron II derisively called the G1-era Transformers "archaic Energon guzzlers") and the infrastructure and technology of their entire civilization adapted with them? How would a post-Beast Machines Transformer even be able to be an Autobot in any meaningful sense when everyone on Cybertron was reformatted into technorganic bodies? Shouldn't all Transformers factions be a thing of the past at this point?

I can understand the established Wreckers characters who weren't physically on Cybertron at the time of the "Great Transformation" being excepted, but who the hell is Rook? You get the impression that this is some kind of G1 fanboyism being willfully ignorant of well-established Beast Wars lore. The Maximals and Predacons are explicitly the descendants of the Autobots and Decepticons. Do you know what "descendant" means?

Anyway, the era of peace won by Optimus Primal's sacrifice comes to an abrupt end when the Quintessons attack Cybertron, disgorging a rabid army of Sharkticons on the planet's surface. More new characters we don't care about organize a defense, namely Longhorn and Snarl. Cheetor is also there but he's treated like some lowly rank-and-file infantryman who just barks "yes, sir!" at these way more important characters you've never heard of. I thought the whole point of his character arc in Beast Machines was him maturing from the cocksure greenhorn he was in Beast Wars to a capable leader who could take Optimus Primal's place. But who wants to see that?

Meanwhile, we jump back and forth between our two groups of surviving Wreckers characters, the Dinobots (featuring Devcon) and Primal Prime's gang of asshole losers. They're both on their way back to Cybertron, and it takes them the whole issue to get there.

By studying the weaponry of the Sharkticons they defeated on Hoth, Apelinq has deduced that the Quintessons are in league with Cryotek, the coolest and smartest and most badass and most famousest bad guy ever. "Of course!" ejaculates Primal Prime. "Can't any of you see the danger here?  It all finally makes sense.  This Cryotek doesn't simply want control of Cybertron.  He wants control of Primus!"

Also there's another new character introduced called Reptron, who is compared to Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Please, let it end.

On Cybertron, Cryotek, Cyclonus, and their Quintesson entourage are doing something when they're confronted by Ramulus, Primal Prime, Apelinq, Al-badur, maybe some other people, I don't know. Cryotek channels the power of Primus and blasts both Primal Prime and Apelinq at once, fusing them together into a melted mass. Al-badur says that this was a big mistake because using the power of Primus thus will act like a beacon to Unicron. Is he going to return yet again?

Cryotek mutates into a giant monster Cryotek for some reason. "Do any of you still have the power to oppose your creator's hand, as it has become fashioned into my fist!?" he asks, which is... almost a cool line.

But Primal Prime and Apelinq yet live, only they have been combined into a new character: the mighty Sentinel Maximus!

HOO HAH!

 

hurray, it's overae

Disclosure

 

Writer: Rob Gerbracht

Publication date: July 31, 2004

 

After the clusterfuck of last issue, Apelinq is starting to doubt Primal Prime's leadership abilities, something I was doing from the beginning. Still, everyone keeps following him as he unveils his latest revelation from the Oracle: that they have to go to some random ice planet. Glyph and CatSCAN announce that they are staying behind to help the Akalouthans. Oh no, my two favorite characters.

On the sixth planet of the Hoth system, the Wreckers encounter a Quintesson named Al-badur, who joins the party after giving an incredibly long-winded and convoluted recap of Cybertronian history and G1 deep lore. The only important part is that the so-called Oracle is confirmed to be a Quintesson shell program designed to block the real Vector Sigma from communicating with the Transformers. The Wreckers realize that the Dinobots and Mutants were sent on suicide missions; their own assignment was legit, though, because the Oracle program broke down over time and Vector Sigma was able to get a few messages through, or something. I don't know. But in another scene Cryotek tells his Quintesson allies that the Oracle is now totally defunct following the complete technorganic reformatting of Cybertron at the end of Beast Machines, so whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.

Some Sharkticons show up, I guess to silence Al-badur? The Wreckers make quick work of them, with Rodimus making a G1 cartoon reference to Arcee. Arcee is bewildered that she wasn't able to foresee any of this; ever since she saved Fractyl, she hasn't received any visions of the future. Oh yeah, I guess that was a thing they mentioned one time. 

 

Primal Prime says that they will take Al-badur away from his frozen exile if he will tell them the origins of the Divine Light that Cyclonus stole. Al-badur explains that the Divine Light is a conduit that grants its holder direct access to the power of Primus, who I think is confirmed here to be the physical planet of Cybertron in this universe. Primus being Cybertron is a thing in multiple continuities, but it's weird for that to be brought into play here when these comics have leaned so hard on G1 cartoon continuity, in which Primus was never even mentioned and Unicron was a science project made by Some Guy.

Elsewhere, Devcon gets wasted and fondles a robot hooker while recruiting T-Wrecks and the other surviving Dinobots to help him punch Cyclonus. What are the Dinobots doing in this seedy bar on the other side of the galaxy? Did they just give up on the whole "saving Cybertron" thing after half of their number got eaten by a sandworm? If so, I can't say I blame them; I'm about ready to give up on this series.

Not as disastrous as Betrayal, but still not any good. I can't believe a con-exclusive comic book tie-in had the gall to come right out and unequivocally retcon the entire plot of Beast Machines. Like get over yourself. I also have no idea what the hell Al-badur was talking about. I must not be a big enough Transformers fan to understand all these deep cuts. ¡Qué lástima!

Betrayal

Primal Prime imitates the pose I made while reading this issue.

 

Writer: Rob Gerbracht

Publication date: July 26, 2002

 

Last time, on The Wreckers, we were introduced to this series' absurdly mammoth cast. 

 

The Dinobots: T-Wrecks, Magmatron, Striker, Rapticon, Dinotron, Airraptor, Triceradon, and Terranotron.

The Mutants: Icebird, Razor Claw, Soundwave, and Poison Bite.

The Deployers: Rav, Mol, and Dillo.

The Wreckers themselves: Primal Prime, Apelinq, Rodimus, Arcee, Ramulus, Tigatron, Packrat, Fractyl, Spittor, and Sonar.

Some other guys who tagged along: Rotorbolt, Cyclonus, Skywarp, and Devcon.

This issue adds three more members to the team: Glyph and Tap-Out, survivors of a long-lost Autobot survey mission dispatched by Rodimus Prime after the battle against Unicron, and CatSCAN, who is basically the holographic doctor from Star Trek: Voyager. 

 

That brings our dramatis personae up to 32. Having introduced this Game of Thrones-sized cast, the writers of The Wreckers then immediately perform a Red Wedding on them. 

 

The Dinobots travel to the planet Arkus, tasked by the Oracle to "restore the sleeping giant." Despite T-Wrecks being identified as their leader in the previous issue, here he's taking orders from Magmatron, whose Predacon allegiance and history from Beast Wars Neo aren't mentioned at all. It seems weird to deliberately use a character with an established backstory only to treat that backstory as non-canon and make no attempt to develop a new one to replace it. Anyway, the only giant the Dinobots find is the Dweller in the Depths, who kills Airraptor, Rapticon, Striker, and Magmatron.

 

The Mutants arrive in the Outer Orion Cluster, where they are immediately sentenced to death by the Quintessons and eaten alive by Sharkticons. In league with the Quintessons is Cryotek, Megatron II's former mentor who previously appeared in the Theft of the Golden Disk animation and nothing else. He now appears as a blue repaint of Transmetal 2 Megatron. The comic doesn't trouble itself to explain this, but if you bother to read his character bio on BotCon Online, all is made clear:

Upon Megatron's return, Cryotek struck up a bargain with his old student, willingly "assisting" Megatron with the elimination of his hated beast form - or at least those elements that Cryotek could most readily exploit! Unprepared for the painful metamorphosis involved in assuming Megatron's Transmetal II body, Cryotek was sent into temporary stasis lock, allowing his research and development operations to fall into Megatron's waiting hands. Left betrayed both by his former protégé and his own pursuit of power, Cryotek recovered only in time to see his empire - and Cybertron - fall completely to Megatron's sinister designs.

Megatron still has his Transmetal 2 body and dragon mode in Beast Machines though. What happened.

Cryotek has also sabotaged the Wreckers' shuttle. In mid-space flight, an explosion rips a hole in the aft hull. Packrat wants to separate the ship into two like Ultra Magnus did in The Transformers: The Movie, but Primal Prime tells him not to because Spittor, Sonar, and the Deployers are still back there. Packrat does it anyway, coldly abandoning these five minor characters, some of whom have not even spoken a single line of dialogue, to their deaths, which come immediately when their section of the ship explodes.

Rodimus is mad at Packrat, I think with good reason, but Primal Prime tells him to cool his jets and calmly relieves Packrat of his duties. Why is Rodimus Prime taking orders from this douchebag? Dude killed Unicron, bore the Matrix, and has been in a leadership position for hundreds of years, while PP was created by evil aliens like two days ago. Who put him in charge???

At this point the remaining Wreckers meet up with the survivors of the Autobot expedition on the planet Archa IX. "Another of my less-than-stellar command decisions," Rodimus ruefully comments on the failed deep-space survey initiative. Was this written by a former '80s kid who was still salty about Optimus Prime being replaced by Judd Nelson? Is that why this comic keeps treating Rodimus like an asshole?

Glyph and Tap-Out lead the gang to the Dwelling of the Divine Light, a mystical religious item revered by the local population of Akalouthans that is reputed to have fallen from the sky millennia ago. Packrat, seemingly not at all troubled about recently murdering five people, rubs his hands together greedily and says this thing must be worth a fortune. Speaking of garbage, this comic finally reveals how Packrat came to be involved with the Beast Wars, having previously appeared without explanation in a number of BotCon tie-in stories. Apparently he was a thief back on Cybertron, and upon being arrested by Imperial Peace Marshal Devcon, he was locked in a stasis pod and shipped off-planet aboard the Axalon. This sounds highly illegal, and only came five years too late for anyone reading to care.

Cyclonus doesn't trust Packrat's avarice, so he takes Rotorbolt aside and assigns him to secretly keep an eye on the verminous Maximal. These two were introduced as part of a three-bot team, but I have no idea what happened to Skywarp, the third member of the trio, or why he's absent for the rest of the issue.

Exactly one page later, Devcon is like "hey, where are Rotorbolt and Packrat?" He goes looking for them and FINDS THEM BOTH DEAD. Oh my God, they really did it, they killed Packrat. After keeping him around for so long and pointlessly forcing him into so many stories, the ultimate fate of his character is to die meaninglessly off-screen like a little bitch. Incredible.

It turns out that the real traitor is Cyclonus the Warrior, who has been working for Cryotek all along. He steals the Divine Light and escapes, with Devcon vowing to hunt him to the ends of the universe, just like Inspector Javert. 

 

Primal Prime rushes in and is sad, cuing this text box: "Primal Prime comes to a tragic understanding. Regardless of what knowledge or wisdom one has been granted, or what position of authority one assumes -- A true leader must never ignore the needs of his team."

What the FUCK does that have to do with anything that just happened?

On the final page, Cyclonus reports his success to Cryotek, who delivers a lengthy expository speech revealing that the Oracle, established in the actual Beast Machines TV show to be the benevolent supercomputer Vector Sigma, is really an imposter program created by the Quintessons to manipulate the Transformers so they can take over Cybertron again. Stupid Optimus Primal spent the whole stupid cartoon dancing to the bad guys' tune! What a moron!

Cryotek also reveals that his alliance with the Quintessons is merely one of convenience, for "while they play about with their disingenuous 'Oracle' and attempt to manipulate Vector Sigma's lost flock, I have taken my first triumphant step... ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■"

You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak.

I would say that Betrayal is a betrayal, but the preceding issue wasn't much better. Nevertheless, this was still really, really bad. I don't like being overly negative, but there was nothing good about it. It was just terrible.