Voice Actor Drama (2003)

 

Writer: Simon Furman

Performance date: July 26, 2003

 

Another tongue-in-cheek, fourth wall-breaking BotCon script reading that is nevertheless in continuity with its associated storyline. This untitled adventure begins shortly after the first issue of Transformers: Universe, and follows G1 Grimlock and Armada Megatron as they materialize in the bowels of Unicron, having been pulled from their native timelines. They fight each other with swords, scored by legendary film composer Vince DiCola via unlicensed use of "The Imperial March." 

 

But it isn't long before Optimus Primal appears, newly resurrected and restored to his original pre-Transmetal Beast Wars body, and brokers peace between the two. He fills them in on what Unicron's up to and how he was sent here to stop him. In doing so, he deliberately conflates Vector Sigma/the Oracle and Primus, treating them like different names for the same being. Is that true, is that right? I was under the impression that they were separate entities.

The three robots agree to work together to save the multiverse, but they are then confronted by Reptilion and Striker, one of the Beast Machines Dinobots who seemed to have been killed in The Wreckers but was really brought here and brainwashed to become evil. These two servants of Unicron order the new arrivals to go fight to the death in the Cauldron, but Megatron and Grimlock tell Optimus to run for it while they hold off the bad guys, because Primus is depending on him to save them all. Once he's gone, Megatron and Grimlock turn tail and run the other way.

Optimus Primal makes his way to the Cauldron, where Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are about to be forced to fight each other to the death. He calls on Primus to give him strength to stop this madness, only to be put on hold. I'm not making this up! Then before Primus can take his call, he's caught by Striker. But Megatron and Grimlock blunder in, having been unable to find their way out, and when Striker turns to attack them they defeat him.

At this point, Grimlock notices Departure writer Glen Hallit sitting in the audience and pointing at his watch, so they wrap it up and end on a cliffhanger. To be continued in Transformers: Universe issue #2: Escape to Witch Mountain.

 

Possibly the best Beast Wars-adjacent fiction Simon Furman has ever written, but the performances of Garry Chalk, David Kaye, and Gregg Berger as the Three Amigos are what really sell it. More comedy than cringe, what a concept!