Friday, May 15, 2026

From the Thoroughly Unexciting Adventures of Dannen Lifehold

The Adventures of Dannen Lifehold: Breaking Free

Author: Dave Marron
Medium: Short story
Publication date: February 1994 in Star Wars Adventure Journal #1
Timeline placement: 0 BBY
 
Meet Dannen Lifehold, the least talented and least interesting smuggler in the Star Wars galaxy. Dannen has one more payment to make on his ship, the Lifeline, but crime boss Linkaas, a sentient plant creature, tries to have him killed so he can rook some other sucker into buying the ship on a perpetual installment plan. His thugs are armed with futuristic sci-fi weapons called “rope guns,” which do exactly what they sound like they would. I’ve got to get me one of those for the local college girls. However, Dannen easily escapes with the help of a gang of Silika, three-armed rock aliens who get drunk on mineral water. He then meets a furry named Purr and they go to Alderaan to find their next adventure. Wow, this is pointless!

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