New Packaging, Same Product

Paul: Oh Megatron tricked him so he blew up like six times.

EPISODE 27: AFTERMATH

 

Paul: Ep 27

Paul: The remarkably shitty opening credits have been replaced with a "last time" montage.

Paul: And the remarkably shitty 3d models have been replaced with better ones! yuppie.

Paul: Hahah Trannatus is in Black Widow's brain yo.

Paul: Daaang.

Paul: Freaky.

Paul: Omg like can they get some seat belts?

Paul: Like 3 Maximals have been thrown from their seats

Paul: And now everybody is melting into white light.

Paul: K

Paul: Or lava.

Paul: Haha damn the giant spider dream image though.

Paul: Remember Cheetar's dream sequence in ep like 4 or 5?

Paul: Awesome.

Paul: What.

Paul: Rat and Cheetar got BUFF.

Paul: MUST SELL MORE TOYS.

Paul: Wow um.

Paul: Neither cheetar nor Rattrap look like actual animals any more.

Paul: I guess that's fine.

Paul: Omg so dumb.

Paul: Um Optimus Prime has become a being of light.

Paul: Next he'll come back as a giant space baby

Me: I like the Transmetal redesigns a lot more.

Me: Don't have to worry about your fake-looking CGI animals when you can hide them behind something that's not supposed to look like a real animal.

Me: The first two episodes of season 2 were the first episodes I ever saw because they came on a VHS tape included with a repainted version of a crab Transformer who isn't even on the show.

Me: RIP Optimus, Scorponok, and Terrorsaur btw.

Paul: So the solution to Rattrap looking like he was folding in half when he ran was...wheels.

Paul: Hahaha whatever I’m fucking sure Optimus and Scorp are coming back.

Me: He's a rat with wheels! Cool.

Paul: From the fifth moon of the seventh planet of a dying star.

Paul: Do ONLY these characters get transmetals? laam

Me: SPOILERSSSSS: no.

Paul: Thank god.

Paul: It looks so uneven currently.

Paul: Lol Megatron has roller blades and jets.

Paul: A T-rex with roller blades and jets.

Paul: God.

Me: I love the 90s!!!

Paul: Hahaha

Paul: JetCheetar flies into WheelsTrap and they collapse. Megatron: "New packaging, same product!"

Paul: HE KNOWS.

Me: LOSERS.

Me: What a sick burn.

Paul: WheelsTrap: "The Beast Wars just got a whole bunch weirder!"

Paul: Yes.

Me: Now another two-parter!

Me: You're more than 50% through the series so might as well knock out the rest of the season right now.

Paul: I am an aristocrat. I binge nothing.

Paul: Beast Wars must be savored like a fine wine.

THE SPAC LASER MAKES U GAY

EPISODE 25: OTHER VOICES, PART 1

 

Paul: Episode whatever: TWO-PART TIME
 

Paul: WASPINATOR ALWAYS GETS SLAG ASSIGNMENTS

Paul: WASPINATOR TEAR HIM A NEW WASTE DISPOSAL UNIT

Paul: Um this is a swearing show.

Paul: Keep it from ya boy.

Paul: Okay so the alien jellyfish from the first episode of TNG is back and is again trapped as a building.

Paul: Omg WASPINATOR and Rat's Trap are fighting.

Paul: Rat turned into a rat mid-jump, and then spun around in a cartwheel of doom.

Paul: It was magnificent.

Paul: Balls kick humor.

Paul: Remember how funny that was in the 90's?

Paul: I can scarcely remember a film where people didn't laugh at men having their testicles tortured. It was a simpler time.

Paul: This truce is such bullshit.

Paul: Like.

Paul: Normally don't truces last a specified amount of time?

Paul: And like, don't you have the right to check and see if the other side has weapons?

Paul: Whatever. Optimus is now glowing green so all's well.

Paul: Um awesome okay, giant golden giant viking is mad because The (Human Self-Extinction?) Project has been contaminated.

Paul: Then the moon becomes a Death Star, and they segments into oranges like in Arrival.

Paul: And then fucking Trannytulus says AH THE BEGINNING OF THE END like he's Gendo fucking Ikari.

Paul: Um if you know what's happening, share it you fucker.

EPISODE 26: OTHER VOICES, PART 2

 

Paul: EPISODE 25: THE SPAC LASER MAKES U GAY

Paul: Inferno and Rattrap are easily the most bad-ass motherfuckers.

Paul: Okay my ranking will eventually come.

Paul: This fight between Black Widow and Antman is fucking awesome.

Paul: DON'T COUNT ON IT...ANT BREATH!

Paul: Dang okay, Optimus is going to do what Kirk did in the Doomsday Machine episode.

Paul: And Black Widow is helping!

Paul: I wonder if she'll, like, become cool or whatever. idk.

Me: I think the Inferno/Tarantulas/Black Arachnia fight was one of the scenes that got edited when the show ran on Fox Kids.

Me: Edited for Xtreme Violins!!!

Me: Most truces apply exclusively to the use of firearms but allow the participants to otherwise injure each other as much as they want.

Paul: I ran out of time. Will finisj next five minutes tomorroe.

Queering CGI: The Transformers Beast Wars Story

EPISODE 24: BEFORE THE STORM

 

Paul: EPISODE 24: BEFORE THE STORM

Paul: Mount Fuji shows up and glows blue.

Paul: Megatron Tigertron are excited.

Paul: Only the 'trons....will this mountain lead them all to the land of Tron??

Paul: Ant-man is a hard-ass...for EVIL. And he pries the Voyager disk off the spinning obelisk.

Paul: Not sure why it had to spin, I guess more dramatic that way.

Paul: Also calls Megatron "my queen," haha.

Paul: QUEERING CGI: THE transFORMERS BEAST WARS STORY

Paul: Um okay everybody wants to leave the planet.

Paul: So suspense, very tension.

 

Paul:

 

Paul: The mix of fluid CG motion with slapstick tropes out of Looney Tunes animation history is so jarring. Wasp ask Spider what he's doing; spider swiftly removes his eyeball and throws it at wasp b/c it's a smoke grenade!! Fluid, fast, smooth. Then spider pops up behind wasp with a slidewhistle sound effect and it's like wtf

Paul: why is this here

Paul: THEN SPIDERBOT CASUALLY TOSSES WASPINATOR A BUNDLE OF TNT

Paul: Where the FUCK did you get that, you cartoon CUNT?

Paul: How about a fucking energon-based explosive at least?

Paul: Fucking TNT??

Paul: Do any of these super futuristic robots fighting over incomprehensible energy sources on a artificially engineered planet ever get smacked with an anvil?

Me: I feel like something roughly equivalent happens to Terrorsaur in this episode.

Paul: Hahahahaha Megatron is watching things unfold from a fucking hot-tub?

Paul: I love this show.

Paul: Really???

Me: Does he have his rubber ducky?

Me: Maybe that's a different time he's in the hot tub.

Paul: Hahaha

Paul: Okay instead of Rattrap they send a Tiger to sneak around, much sneakier animal good job.

Paul: Hahha they're going to roll over the bad guys with a big boulder.

Paul: ??

Paul: And a GIANT SHEET OF METAL.

Paul: Makes more sense in-universe than TNT.

Paul: ALSO A MATADOR SEQUENCE.

Paul: jesus CHRIIIST

Paul: Rhinox grinds on terrotdactil.

Paul: ALIENS ARE COMING.

Paul: Unless that's a RUSE.

Me: No sir things are kicking into high gear.

Me: Next, the two-part season finale!!!

Paul: Yeaah !

Splash Mountain is a great ride that shouldn't be replaced by The Princess and the Frog

I'm not going to stan Song of the South but 1) despite Disney's efforts to bury it for the sake of brand sanitization it remains historically significant for its early integration of live action and animation and James Baskett's Academy Award-winning performance as Uncle Remus, and 2) the problematic aspects of the movie are completely absent from the ride, which only features animatronics of the movie's anthropomorphic cartoon animals.

The Princess and the Frog deserves the credit it gets as Disney's first (and only) animated movie with a black lead, but the accolades stop there. Not only is it a mediocre film, it's also about as progressive as the 2017 Beauty and the Beast's blink-and-you'll-miss-it gay romance.

The "first black Disney princess" spends most of the film hiding her skin color beneath the transfigured green flesh of a cartoon frog, and whatever themes of racial inequality the movie possesses are predictably minimized and sanitized, to the extent that you'd think the greatest adversity facing a black woman in 1920s Louisiana is lacking the venture capital to start a business. I'm not asking for a Spike Lee story credit here but why even set the movie in that era if your poor black characters are best friends with your rich white characters and the only prejudice your protagonist encounters is being turned down for an investment loan? The cumulative result is so tepid and soft-edged that, for the time it was made, it feels almost as racially tone-deaf as Song of the South's carefree sharecropping freedmen happily coexisting with white plantation-owners in the post-war South.

I feel bad for The Princess and the Frog. First Disney scapegoats it for the shitcanning of their 2D animation department, now it's their excuse for axing one of the most beloved rides in their parks. Fuck Disney and fuck applauding their craven business calculations masquerading as progressivism.

"I'm glad [innocuous apolitical thing you care about] is being ruined for you because an infinitesimal number of racists will also be upset about it."

"I have no emotional attachment to or personal interest in [innocuous apolitical thing] but by God it feels good to look down my nose at people who do so I can score vacuous ideology points. XD"

Fuck off with that shit.

To be clear, The Princess and the Frog, while not great, is a better movie than Song of the South, which is boring and sucks. I'd welcome a good Princess and the Frog ride. But Splash Mountain was already a wonderful ride, irrespective of its obscure source material.

Memory-holing problematic past media is done not to protect the consumer, but to absolve the creators and license-holders of their behavior. Disney doesn't want you to believe that they've grown past Song of the South; Disney wants you to forget that they made Song of the South.

But reality doesn't care if you believe it.

 

Robot Rankings 1

Paul: Do I still have to rank to robots?

Paul: hol don

Paul: Do they end up blowing up one of the moons?

Paul: Oh that's right in that one episode at least one moon was hollow.

Paul: Or artificial.

Paul: Is this ancient Earth, and it's an experiment to create organic life, and because the MINIMALS and the FARTICONS are fighting the resulting life, hyoo-mans, will have the deranged violent elements of the FARTS and the calmer violent elements of the MINS?

Me: The Predacons are from the Black Moon and the Maximals are from the White Moon.

Paul: When the moons combine, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!!

War Never Changes

EPISODE 23: LAW OF THE JUNGLE

Paul: "Three hundred years have passed since the Great War between the Autobots and Decepticons." Umm in the first episode of Transmorons like 65 million passed. Is that how long the Cyber-war lasted?

 

Me: I guess.

Me: They crashed on Earth in dinosaur times but were unconscious until 1984.

Me: I guess the ones who stayed on Cybertron kept fighting in the meantime.

Paul: For millions of years.

Me: Robots can live forever.

Me: The Great War was officially ended by the forming of the Pax Cybertronia with the Autobots the victors and the Decepticons placed under heavy restrictions. A number of Decepticons were granted amnesty and retired. Many records were restricted and most of the Ark crew are legendary figures, indicating they had died or disappeared by the time of the Beast Wars. A period of uneasy peace followed with the Predacons biding their time in preparation for their chance to challenge the supremacy of the Maximals and start the Great War again, something that Optimus Primal couldn't understand. It was three hundred years after Pax Cybertronia when Primal was drawn into one such challenge.

Paul: Pax Cybertronia YESSSSSSSSSSSSSs

Paul: Yeah but 65 million years is a lot of war.

Paul: Wouldn't they run out of cyberfucks to give?

Me: Look Beast Wars only follows a general G1 continuity, it's not a sequel to the cartoon explicitly, so you can headcanon the back story if you're going to be a NERD.

Paul: Do you think that these immortal robots have perfect memories like the Chee? Are the Decepticons locked in an eternal internal struggle?

Paul: EPISODE 23: LAW OF THE JUNGLE. To demonstrate the LAW OF THE JUNGLE, a CG frog eats a CG dragonfly.

Paul: Then a CG snake eats the CG frog!

Paul: Then a CG birdie eats the CG snake.

Paul: Will the entire episode continue like this?

Me: Guest director Hideako Anno.

Paul: Finally, reading the wiki, we learn that the frog was a hooker.

Paul: Dude Dinobot used his stupid shield to deflect Inferno's laser blasts and get up close.

Paul: That was actually a little bad-ass.

Me: They finally found a use for it.

Paul: IKR??

Paul: Also the Preds randomly attacking made sense for once because then Pterobot shows up and says Hey you didn't wait for the signal.

Paul: Also when people are shot they do funny cartoon rabbit booms and fly into funny cartoons objects.

Paul: Just like in real life!

Paul: Inferno, cackling, turns on his flamethrower.

Paul: jfc this guy

Me: I love Inferno!!!!

Paul: Holy fucking shit.

Paul: That was a twist.

Paul: Um Tigertron killed his tigerbro

Paul: by accident

Paul: and by enjoying shooting things a bit too much

Paul: and builds him a grave.

Me: RIP Snowstalker.

Me: He was a casualty of war.

Paul: Then there's a good part about war!!

Paul: And the destruction of war!

Paul: And like, not doing the war. And then Dinobot says war is good. Yes.

Paul: Then um Inferno was there the entire time apparently. They didn't even finish him off.

Paul: Small wonder our entire country is stupid.

Paul: Man this episode rocks.

Paul: Tigertron's inner struggle is real.

Me: This is just like the time Cassie quit the team after murdering an incapacitated Hork-Bajir.

Paul: Fucking Inferno is insane.

Paul: I can't both like the Maximals + their struggle and at the same time take his cackling twitchy nonsense seriously.

Paul: Like, do you remember the live action Death Note? The part with the murderer who climbed a tree? He is in one shot where he cackles and licks his lips?

Paul: That is Inferno.

Paul: I'm just like Wut every time.

Me: The Japanese one or the Netflix one?

Paul: The best one.

Paul: The Japanese, you fool!

Me: THERE ARE CAMER-UHS

Me: I forget, is there a reason he's crazy?

Me: Maybe he has PTSD from Tigatron blowing up his anthill.

Paul: If an anthill makes you go crazy, you were already a retard.

Paul: #sendinfernotothehague

Paul: Oh okay he's lashing out?

Paul: Oh that's right he really did like that anthill.

Paul: Hmm interesting.

Me: Congratulations this is the last filler episode until season 3, where they had to write a replacement for the episode they had planned because Hasbro said it was too dark.

Me: Assuming you consider Tigatron's character development filler.

Paul: Nah he's cool.

Paul: No I thought this was a good episode.

Paul: I liked the ambiguity of fighting for peace.

Paul: Which has honestly never made any sense.

Paul: I really like that, instead of actually finding an ANSWER to his question, Tigertron's hand (paw?) is forced.

Paul: As so often happens.

Paul: I mean, it's interesting what you say about Inferno being crazy because his reason for being was destroyed. That actually makes a lot of sense.

Paul: I wonder if they'll actually play that up.

Paul: Ah right, I remember his introductory episode now.

Me: YES MY QUEEN

Paul: Idk where these queens are coming from.

Paul: He just says "royalty" a lot.

Me: Ok I remember now.

Me: The reason the Autobots and Decepticons crashed on Earth in the first place was because their planet was depleted of Energon and they were looking for more so they could continue their war.

Me: I guess everyone who stayed on Cybertron just put themselves in power-save mode for 65 million years.

The Famous Fart Episode

EPISODE 22: THE LOW ROAD

 

Paul: BEST CARS!! Episode 22: The Low Road.

Paul: CG vines are growing everywhere.

Paul: Comic robot battle between Rattrap & Dinot in beans.

Paul: Beans fight good.

Paul: Predacons appear.

Paul: And Inferno is just constantly screaming his fucking head off??

Paul: Does he do this throughout the show?

Paul: Tarantino shoots a facehugger on to Rhinox and it puts its dick in his mouth.

Paul: um

Paul: Okay so now whenever Rhinox sneezes lasers come out.

Paul: Is this the famous fart episode?

Paul: Buddy cop drama!!

Paul: wtf so why were there BEANS at the beginning of this episode?

Paul: Like, We need a buddy cop drama between Rattrap and Dinobot. How do we start it off?

Paul: ....Beans!

Paul: So many fucking cartoons comedy moments.

Paul: I hated those as a children.

Paul: Playground's closed, MINIMALS.

Me: Civilization is a constant battle against the encroachment of wild bean vines.

Paul: Rat and Dino are arguing, Tranny Tullus wakes up.

Paul: And instead of running he point his bowcaster at them from like a foot away and says DDIIIIIIIIEE, MAXIMALS.

Paul: Comical music plays as Rhinox eats beans for like 10 minutes straight.

Paul: THEN FART

Paul: FART HAPPEN

Paul: Welp.

Paul: That happened.

Me: Best episode by far.

Bad Comedy

EPISODE 20: DARK VOYAGE

 

Paul: Episode 20, Dark Voyage, begins with Rat Rap digging a hole

Paul: Perhaps this hole is the titular DARK VOYAGE?

Paul: Inside the hole is a boxed set of Voyager DVD's.

Paul: I stopped watching.

Paul: j/k so the bad guys shoot a vibrating cyber arrow into the energon mess it shows them bad Eva fanfiction so they all go blind.

Paul: Now they are still blind, boo hoo. Betweent this and the last episode with the beast hack/jungle hunt, the Predacons are totally insane with power. They're OP.

 

Paul: Is this how how evil can BLIND you and TURN YOU INTO AN ANIMAL?

Paul: p. cool p. cool

Paul: In a twist on Star Wars, the Maximals locate the right point to shoot by using both the Force AND their targeting computers.

Paul: Also at some point in this episode a giant snake showed up. SPPOKY.

Paul: WILL THE NEXT PREDACOR BE A PYTHON

Paul: I'M GONNA GO SMELL SOME FLOWERS

Paul: says Aurochs as he leaves the spaceship for the loving gentle outdoors that just tried to murder him with a python and a waterfall.

 

Paul: Jesus do these toys look stupid.

Me: A python could never swallow a rhinosaur.

Paul: Cobrar and Ekanstron.

Me: Most snakes have a hugely thick and muscular neck and upper body and then the rest of them is super thin and useless.

Paul: I like the blue one, he looks cocky.

Me: Now that you have seen most of the first season what is your rank of the characters from best to worst?

Paul: I'm getting to like this cartoon but jesus do I hate the 80s and the 90s.

Paul: Everything was goo and gross stuff.

Paul: Spider robots.

Paul: Nowadays boys grow up trans with pink frills.

Paul: It's a better world.

Paul: Hahaha according to your cards Tigertron is an idiot.

 

Me: They also say Megatron stole T-Rex DNA from a lab.

 

Me: I think in season 2 the character designs become more toy-accurate and the character bios become more show-accurate.

Me: Their original toys that didn't even get used in the show implied that Megatron and Optimus Primal were the original Megatron and Optimus Prime.

Paul: Okay....

Paul: hmm this i hard
 

EPISODE 21: POSSESSION

 

Paul: Ep. 21 POSSESSION

Paul: A cyber version of what is clearly the coronavirus falls to Not-Earth.

Paul: Lightning strikes the super advanced spaceships that can withstand the cosmic rays and microscopic particles moving at the speed of light, severely damaging them and giving the Predacons coronavirus.

Paul: Waspinator punches a computer

Paul: and shouts.

Paul: He is adorable.

Paul: hahaaha

Paul: It's Starscream!!

Paul: Was he turned into a space ghost in the Transformers movie?

Me: No he just dies in the movie, he comes back as a ghost in subsequent season.

Paul: So this Megatron isn't the same Megatron as before.

Paul: Okay whatever.

Paul: Also you said Megatron shot Starscream but apparently the Death Star voiced by Orson Welles got him.

Me: "You weren't killed by Unicron, you were blasted by Galvatron...after you betrayed him!"

Paul: Well, back in the jungle again.

Paul: And then they won!

Paul: Starcream was tricky but he got too close to a Engertron crystal and blew up.

Paul: Now he's in space again, like a loser.

Paul: Got a good shot of the planet; it's Earth millions of years ago?

Paul: With all the continents out of place?

Me: Did Earth have two moons millions of years ago? Maybe!

White Fang

EPISODE 19: CALL OF THE WILD

Paul: Speaking of man-gay
 

Paul: ep. 19 CALL OF THE WILD
 

Paul: That's a zalda game.
 

Paul: Cheetar is dreaming of hunting gazelles, then falls into a pit, then ONCE AGAIN THE PREDS ARE JUST THERE ATTACKING although this time it's en media res so okay better.
 

Paul: What are the psychological effects of living in beast form -- even sleeping in beast form -- for so long?
 

Paul: On robots?
 

Paul: In space?

 

Paul: It's like how soldiers can't come home from the war because in war they wear a different personality.

Paul: However good this episode is I'm afraid it will have at best half the power of the one Animorphs book where Tobias eats roadkill.
 

Paul: Or the other one where Tobias maybe fucks a bird.
 

Paul: The lady-hawk.
 

Paul: Um Dinobot and Cheetar are complete bad-asses and charge machine gun fire to TACKLE THE GUNNERS ??!
 

Paul: Nice.
 

Paul: I love the semi-seriously storyline and all the missiles and explosion and theeeeeeenn...Dinobot throws Scropbro into a rock and he is flat because funny cartoon!

Paul: I love that.
 

Paul: Guns are fun, kids.
 

Paul: Megatron laughs maniacally and the camera goes inside of his mouth??
 

Paul: Omg everybody is having beast nightmares.
 

Paul: Dinobot picks up an ENTIRE Hadrosaur and worries it like a bone.
 

Paul: Um sorry weren't those the size of elephants?
 

Paul:

Paul: The lack of articulation in the Hadrosaur model makes it look like a gummy dinosaur.
 

Paul: Okay so they all beast-sleepwalk into the jungle!
 

Paul: Although I remember this all being cliffs and rocks actually.

Paul: But now it's a jungle.

Paul: Ummm?????!!!!!
 

Paul: Megatron is being carried on a litter???? TONIGHT WE HUNT and Black Wifey has a tiger-skin drum?!?!
 

Paul: Daaamn this is insane.
 

Paul: This entire hunting scene is so fucking surreal and so incredibly bad-ass.
 

Paul: Hunting from the air with automatic weapons...now that's a sport!
 

Paul: Omg yes.
 

Paul: This entire episdoe was bad-ass.
 

Paul: They accepted their animal selves.
 

Paul: So Freud.
 

Paul: Then they pulled off some insane stunts and the baddies ran away, go team!!

Paul: Megatron's bone and tiger-skin hunting litter won't leave my mind. What a batshit episode. They had fun with it.
 

Paul: You aren't a fan of the original Transformers?
 

Me: I loved it when I was like 10 but it hasn't aged very well I don't think. The more distinctive and memorable characters are fun but the old episodes are kind of hard to sit through, especially the post-movie seasons where the entire original cast was dead and all the new characters sucked.
 

Me: The movie is badass.
 

Me: Technically probably not that good but who cares.

 

Paul: A phrase applicable to so many things.
 

Me: Like life.

Degenerates Like You Belong on a Cross

EPISODE 18: SPIDER'S GAME

Paul: Ep 18: Spider's Game

Paul: In which Tarantulon becomes a PUA and gets LAID.

Paul: So okay these spiders dudes are plotting against Megatron and are going to steal a Maximal stasis pod. They knock out everybody's comms to do it, so it's only them and Tigertron. Clever plot device, I like.

Paul: Black Widower is hitting on Tarantino!

Paul: Will they sex?

Paul: Or more likely will the black widow's mate come to a bad end??

Paul: The Maximal lands next to ants.

Paul: So it will be ants.

Paul: Um.

Paul: Okay I like how crazy this fucking ant is!

Paul: Inferno.

Paul: He's like, a loyal fascist or whatever?

Paul: Now that the pod has blown up will he have tons of regret and angst? And take it out on the GOOD GUYS??

Paul: Deep.

Paul: I'm excited to see how he plays out with the others!

Paul: I wonder if the Maximals-cum-Predacons will ever like

Paul: not be dicks.

Paul: I seem to remember an op-ed from twenty years ago about BlackWidtron being conflicted.

Paul: She certainly doesn't seem to now.

Paul: Also, RELATIONSHIPS.

Paul: The spiders' relationship is toxic and mutually parasitic!

Paul: The wild Maximals' is healthy but a little cold.

Paul: WHO WILL DO WHO? WHAT ROBOT FUCK ?

Paul: Also apparently the planet is unstable and will blow up? I guess that makes sense with all the Energon.

Me: Is this the episode where Tarantulas calls Blackarachnia a bitch?

Paul: Witch.

Paul: It's clearly "witch."

Paul: Lunatic...! Witch...!

Paul: Brb checking Rule 34 for Transformers porn.

Me: Well it's a cartoon for babies.

Me: You know what he was really saying though.

Me:

Paul: hahaha!

Paul: Yuuup, that's degenerate.

Paul: Is Dinobot Starscream?

Me: The character, no.

Me: The voice actor, idk.

Me: The character is from the G1 cartoon.

Paul: I mean

Paul: okay cuz like Cheetar seems like Bumblebee.

Paul: Idk I guess aside from the main two there's no overlap?

Me: Oh are you familiar with G1 canon?

Me: You nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrd.

Paul: I just watched the pilot episode.

Paul: Boy was it shit.

Paul: Like, clearly, the writers are WE NEED TO SELL TOYS. Umm ummm boys like toy trucks boys like robots.

Paul: Everything was drawn on the back of a napkin.

Paul: Thank you for not forcing me to watch that.

Me: I love the 1987 movie though.

Me: Orson Welles's final performance.

Me: A worthy bookend to Citizen Kane.

Me: The BW writers said they had never seen Transformers when they started writing the show so the old school fans were mad until they started including G1 references later on.

Paul: Reminds me of the pissing contest that the Star Trek actors of different series always pull on each other where Pat Stew is like "Didn't you watch TNG?" and 7/Ryan is like "Didn't you watch VOY?"

Me:

Paul: wtf is happening

Me: Haven't you ever read a manga before