Monday, June 8, 2020

Bad Comedy

EPISODE 20: DARK VOYAGE

 
Paul: Episode 20, Dark Voyage, begins with Rat Rap digging a hole

Paul: Perhaps this hole is the titular DARK VOYAGE?

Paul: Inside the hole is a boxed set of Voyager DVD's.

Paul: I stopped watching.

Paul: j/k so the bad guys shoot a vibrating cyber arrow into the energon mess it shows them bad Eva fanfiction so they all go blind.

Paul: Now they are still blind, boo hoo. Betweent this and the last episode with the beast hack/jungle hunt, the Predacons are totally insane with power. They're OP.
 
Paul: Is this how how evil can BLIND you and TURN YOU INTO AN ANIMAL?

Paul: p. cool p. cool

Paul: In a twist on Star Wars, the Maximals locate the right point to shoot by using both the Force AND their targeting computers.

Paul: Also at some point in this episode a giant snake showed up. SPPOKY.

Paul: WILL THE NEXT PREDACOR BE A PYTHON

Paul: I'M GONNA GO SMELL SOME FLOWERS

Paul: says Aurochs as he leaves the spaceship for the loving gentle outdoors that just tried to murder him with a python and a waterfall.

 
Paul: Jesus do these toys look stupid.

Me: A python could never swallow a rhinosaur.

Paul: Cobrar and Ekanstron.

Me: Most snakes have a hugely thick and muscular neck and upper body and then the rest of them is super thin and useless.

Paul: I like the blue one, he looks cocky.

Me: Now that you have seen most of the first season what is your rank of the characters from best to worst?

Paul: I'm getting to like this cartoon but jesus do I hate the 80s and the 90s.

Paul: Everything was goo and gross stuff.

Paul: Spider robots.

Paul: Nowadays boys grow up trans with pink frills.

Paul: It's a better world.

Paul: Hahaha according to your cards Tigertron is an idiot.
 
Me: They also say Megatron stole T-Rex DNA from a lab.
 
Me: I think in season 2 the character designs become more toy-accurate and the character bios become more show-accurate.

Me: Their original toys that didn't even get used in the show implied that Megatron and Optimus Primal were the original Megatron and Optimus Prime.

Paul: Okay....

Paul: hmm this i hard
 

EPISODE 21: POSSESSION

 
Paul: Ep. 21 POSSESSION

Paul: A cyber version of what is clearly the coronavirus falls to Not-Earth.

Paul: Lightning strikes the super advanced spaceships that can withstand the cosmic rays and microscopic particles moving at the speed of light, severely damaging them and giving the Predacons coronavirus.

Paul: Waspinator punches a computer

Paul: and shouts.

Paul: He is adorable.

Paul: hahaaha

Paul: It's Starscream!!

Paul: Was he turned into a space ghost in the Transformers movie?

Me: No he just dies in the movie, he comes back as a ghost in subsequent season.

Paul: So this Megatron isn't the same Megatron as before.

Paul: Okay whatever.

Paul: Also you said Megatron shot Starscream but apparently the Death Star voiced by Orson Welles got him.

Me: "You weren't killed by Unicron, you were blasted by Galvatron...after you betrayed him!"

Paul: Well, back in the jungle again.

Paul: And then they won!

Paul: Starcream was tricky but he got too close to a Engertron crystal and blew up.

Paul: Now he's in space again, like a loser.

Paul: Got a good shot of the planet; it's Earth millions of years ago?

Paul: With all the continents out of place?

Me: Did Earth have two moons millions of years ago? Maybe!

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