Queering CGI: The Transformers Beast Wars Story

EPISODE 24: BEFORE THE STORM

 

Paul: EPISODE 24: BEFORE THE STORM

Paul: Mount Fuji shows up and glows blue.

Paul: Megatron Tigertron are excited.

Paul: Only the 'trons....will this mountain lead them all to the land of Tron??

Paul: Ant-man is a hard-ass...for EVIL. And he pries the Voyager disk off the spinning obelisk.

Paul: Not sure why it had to spin, I guess more dramatic that way.

Paul: Also calls Megatron "my queen," haha.

Paul: QUEERING CGI: THE transFORMERS BEAST WARS STORY

Paul: Um okay everybody wants to leave the planet.

Paul: So suspense, very tension.

 

Paul:

 

Paul: The mix of fluid CG motion with slapstick tropes out of Looney Tunes animation history is so jarring. Wasp ask Spider what he's doing; spider swiftly removes his eyeball and throws it at wasp b/c it's a smoke grenade!! Fluid, fast, smooth. Then spider pops up behind wasp with a slidewhistle sound effect and it's like wtf

Paul: why is this here

Paul: THEN SPIDERBOT CASUALLY TOSSES WASPINATOR A BUNDLE OF TNT

Paul: Where the FUCK did you get that, you cartoon CUNT?

Paul: How about a fucking energon-based explosive at least?

Paul: Fucking TNT??

Paul: Do any of these super futuristic robots fighting over incomprehensible energy sources on a artificially engineered planet ever get smacked with an anvil?

Me: I feel like something roughly equivalent happens to Terrorsaur in this episode.

Paul: Hahahahaha Megatron is watching things unfold from a fucking hot-tub?

Paul: I love this show.

Paul: Really???

Me: Does he have his rubber ducky?

Me: Maybe that's a different time he's in the hot tub.

Paul: Hahaha

Paul: Okay instead of Rattrap they send a Tiger to sneak around, much sneakier animal good job.

Paul: Hahha they're going to roll over the bad guys with a big boulder.

Paul: ??

Paul: And a GIANT SHEET OF METAL.

Paul: Makes more sense in-universe than TNT.

Paul: ALSO A MATADOR SEQUENCE.

Paul: jesus CHRIIIST

Paul: Rhinox grinds on terrotdactil.

Paul: ALIENS ARE COMING.

Paul: Unless that's a RUSE.

Me: No sir things are kicking into high gear.

Me: Next, the two-part season finale!!!

Paul: Yeaah !